"Dad, where did you meet mum?"
"She was stood in a giant tupperware with five other birds and had the best fanny, Son."
'Naked Attraction' is an all new, totally uncensored television show on Channel Four. I know what you're thinking - yet another dating show broadcast on British television? Well, yes. Except with this one, there's nudity. And a lot of it. I'm not referring to dimly lit, fully staged sex scenes here; I'm talking about full frontal dick and vag. Yeah, it's a TV show where contestants decide who to date based on seeing their potential suitors completely starkers.
The steamy series sees both male and female singletons faced with six coloured boxes, each containing a prospective love interest. The 'picker' is first given a view of each body from waist to toe. Now who wouldn't like coming face to face with their potential date's labia before they even knew her name?! From there, they reject the physiques that don't quite tickle their fancy in an eviction like process, explaining their choices as they go. Simultaneously, the remaining bodies are revealed further and further until, finally, their faces and voices are exposed. It is then the contestant's turn to undress, before making their final pick and swanning off to enjoy a (thankfully) fully clothed date, testing whether or not their primary instinct was successful.
My initial thoughts? Frightfully demeaning and shamefully shallow. In the simplest terms, this game show meat market provides a dozen contenders, boxed up like Barbie dolls and requests the picker (and the public) to select who they find the most physically attractive. All the while we persistently preach about the importance of someone's personality outweighing their looks and urge not to judge books by their covers. Unfortunately, today's society is the helm of peer pressure and younger generations are constantly pushed to look perfect. Britain's solution to our body confidence crisis? Allowing strangers to publicly ridicule and 'disqualify' another human being based on physical attributes such as tattoos, small breasts and ginger pubes.
Saying this, I truly admire all those who have appeared on the show so far. Feeling comfortable in your skin is wonderful and each and every contestant should be praised for their confidence. For those who feel liberated just watching the show, amazing - but my concern lies with those watching six women and six men once a week, being criticised simply based on the way they look. No national television show should be broadcast if there is risk of it making the public, namely the younger generation, feel bad about themselves. I believe in self-love. I support body confidence and respecting your body. Alongside this, however, I also believe in supporting and respecting the bodies of our peers, and not teasing them for what are, the majority of the time, perfectly healthy and natural figures.
In a poll held by BuzzFeed, 91 per cent of voters claimed they would never appear on the show. So, comedy value and shock factor? Yes. Educational and romantic television show promoting body confidence? Not so much.
It will take a considerable amount more than this particular show to convince me that the best way to look for a partner is by examining their scrotum.