No, Woolworths Is Not Returning To The UK's High Streets

2020 continues to dole out the disappointment.
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It was the news we all needed amidst an awful year – the finest purveyor of pick ’n’ mix the world has ever known was returning to our high streets.

That’s right, Woolworths is back. Well – it was if you had a cursory glance at social media. Or, er, most of the UK’s major news websites.

Unfortunately, as it’s 2020 and everything is crap, it was a cruel fabrication by persons unknown with no regard for long-deprived fans of white chocolate mice.

A Twitter account claiming to be run on behalf of the variety store retailer that went into administration in 2008 teased a return, claiming it was “here to save 2020”.

The Twitter account asked for feedback on what people want from a physical store and promised to make further announcements and provide chances to win gift cards – to a joyful and nostalgic response pleading for the return of pick ’n’ mix and Ladybird clothes. 

But rats were sniffed and a closer look revealed a number of curious discrepancies.

Firstly, they spelled “Woolworths” wrong in a subsequent tweet which is a bit of a red flag tbh.

Secondly, the account is unverified, has barely any followers and linked to a website that doesn’t exist

Thirdly, the company that owns the Woolworths name didn’t have a clue about it.

After keeping HuffPost UK waiting for more than an hour, a Very spokesperson said: “We own the Woolworths trademark in the UK. The Twitter account UKWoolworths is not connected to The Very Group.”

Despite this, the country’s media jumped on the news as high street gospel.

But credit where credit is due, Woolworths has been top trend all morning and the mystery account is still going strong.

The household name, which sold everything from chocolate bars to toasters and televisions, collapsed into administration amid the global financial crisis and Britain’s economic downturn.

An estimated 27,000 people lost their jobs as the store – affectionately known as “Woolies” – closed its doors.