For many of us, our teen relationships are a fading memory from a very distant past and may therefore feel completely separate from how we live our lives today.
However, according to research published in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, this isn’t quite true.
This research was led by Kay Bradford and Brian Higginbotham from Utah State University and Jacqueline Millar of the University of New Mexico. These researchers believe that much like sex education, relationship education could be key to ensuring that adolescents build healthier relationships now and in the future.
The Importance Of Relationship Education
The authors believe that relationship education can help teens make informed decisions in their relationships by:
- Improving communication skills
- Establishing realistic relationship expectations
- Encouraging healthy “pacing” in relationships
- Discussing ways to reduce the risk of violence in relationships
For this study, researchers took inspiration from the ‘four pillars of relationship cognition’ which are:
- Romanticism – believing that ‘love conquers all’
- Decision-making/pacing – jumping into a relationship before really getting to know a romantic partner or even trusting them
- Refusal of unwanted physically intimate behaviour – Consent is a huge safety concern for teens because low self-esteem and hoping to keep their relationship can result in teens finding it difficult to say no
- Control tolerance – expecting or tolerating controlling behaviours which, according to the researchers, is something that often begins in adolescence
While these may seem like difficult topics to approach with teenagers, the outcomes of their research highlighted just how vital these discussions are with adolescents. In this study, the researchers discovered that there are five types of teenage daters.
The Five Types of Teenage Daters
Low Risk — Low risk teens have healthy romantic templates which is promising for future adult relationships
Blindlove – These teens are at low risk in all areas apart from romanticism and still do believe that love can conquer all
Sliders – Sliders just ‘slid’ into their relationships without giving them much thought or consideration.
Blindlove Sliders – As you may have guessed, these teens are a combination of the previous two and find themselves making rash dating relationship decisions because they believe that love conquers all
Control Tolerant – Very worryingly, control tolerant teens had a lower likelihood of rejecting controlling behaviours from partners.
The researchers found that only 1 in 3 teens were in low-risk classes of relationship cognitions and the majority of teens found they fell into riskier classes of relationship behaviour and could benefit from relationship education.
Additionally, there was a gender disparity in these results. Teen boys were found to be more likely to engage in problematic relationship cognitions as they showed a higher endorsement of romanticism and ‘sliding’ than teen girls. Boys were therefore more likely to be manipulated and controlled.
How To Talk About Relationships With Your Teen
The researchers recommended that for those hoping to discuss relationships with their teens, they should make sure that boys are spoken to as well as girls and don’t be afraid to discuss relationships with their teens.
Of course, this transitional period can be awkward for everybody involved but as the researchers said, “adolescent relationships aren’t necessarily things to be feared… guardians should talk about what they value in relationships and what healthy relationships look like regardless of gender.”