A while ago I wrote a somewhat soppy post called the Mummy Badge. I spoke about when my small people were tiny, and I had to go somewhere without them, it felt like I was missing a limb. I wanted everyone to know I was a mum. In hindsight the bags under my eyes and slightly deranged swaying from side to side, was a dead giveaway. However it sparked a conversation about other badges parents need.
Most of the time strangers in the street like to stop and coo at your baby and tell you how beautiful the baby is. That's great. All is well in the world. Sometimes however strangers like to give you helpful comments and advice. Being very British and polite, we smile and grit our teeth through the exchange. But later we spend a disproportionate amount of time coming up with the perfect response to the comments that had giving an Oscar worthy fake laugh.
With the help from some of my lovely readers who told me the most annoying stranger comments, I present to you: Parenting Badges...
1 When it has been a bad night, and the next person who asks you how the baby is sleeping is going to be witness to something not very pretty...
2 For when strangers think they know your baby better than you...
3 For the spotty t-shirts, checked shorts and stripy socks days...
4 For the classic "You look like you've got your hands full"...
Normally said to parents of:
- more than two small people
- two or more small people of the male variety
- kids who are royally kicking off
5 For the follically challenged babies...
6 For when you are just having one of those days...
7 For the days you wish you could leave the house with a smaller bag...
8 Because sometimes babies just cry, and you telling me why he is crying is really not helping, beside the fact I only just fed him...
9 Back away from the baby....
10 Because it is toddler law that tantrums are to be thrown in busy places to optimise the disapproving stares.
11 For the days when you can't remember when you last washed your hair... NB Also the day that if you are ever going to meet Brad Pitt, this will be it.
What would your badge say?
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