Parents Discuss The Reasons They Aren't Doing Santa For Their Children

'We don’t do Santa as my son was utterly terrified of him.'

Parents are discussing why they aren’t doing Santa for their kids, after one mum said she didn’t like the idea of “lying” to her son.

The Mumsnet user said her son is 18 months and she and her partner have decided not to do Father Christmas, but will still get him presents.

“I’m wondering how we could play this and how we explain it without making him think he’s missing out when, for some reason, Santa is visiting other children and not him,” she wrote on 14 December.

“Anyone got any experience or ideas?” 

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Parents who are doing Santa for their children initially expressed their disagreement to the mum’s Christmas plans.

“I think it’s such a shame to deny a child the magical feeling of a visit from Father Christmas,” one person wrote. “My fondest childhood memories are of Christmas Eve, leaving carrots and mince pies and the pure excitement of going to bed. I can honestly say I never felt lied to.

“I would be more disappointed now as an adult if my parents hadn’t gone along with the Father Christmas charade.”

Another wrote: “I think you’re looking at it all wrong. Do you not believe in white lies? Santa is a beautiful lie if you must look at it like that. The excitement and joy it can bring as well as teaching the gift of giving.”

However parents who aren’t doing Santa for their kids discussed and defended their decision. 

“We won’t be doing Father Christmas for our two-year-old daughter,” one mum wrote. “If it comes up I’ll just say it’s a story. I really don’t think feeling ‘excluded’ will be an issue - they’ll still get all the many other nice things about Christmas.

“So far the only time anything to do with it has come up is in talking about her advent calendar. I said that she gets to open one drawer each day to help us count down to Christmas and when all the drawers are finished it’s Christmas and she’ll get a big present because on Christmas we give gifts to the people we love.” 

“If 'Santa' comes up I’ll just say it’s a story. I really don’t think feeling ‘excluded’ will be an issue."”

- Mumsnet user.

Another mum explained that she hasn’t done Santa before as it freaked her son out. “We didn’t do Father Christmas with our oldest as it freaked him out, and he hated the idea of it,” she wrote. 

“We just said to people that we don’t do it and mum and dad do stockings. We always said that Father Christmas comes to other children though, if they’d like him to, so not spoiling anyone else’s magic.

“It was never a big deal. Once I explained to people they were very supportive.
Whatever you choose to do, if you choose to explain it to to others, you must do very confidently with a big smile.”

And another mum could relate to having children who were scared of Santa.

“We don’t do Santa as my son was utterly terrified of him so we told him it is a game that people play,” she wrote.

“We said lots of children love to believe in Santa because they find it fun and it makes Christmas even more exciting and magical. He plays along with his friends at school because he is a very kind boy and understands that it wouldn’t be nice to spoil other people’s fun.”