Your period is late! Cue panic. "How the hell am I going to look after a baby when I can't even look after myself... What will my mum say... What the hell am I going to do?" are some of the first things that run through your head.
No matter how hard you try to keep calm and carry on, here are five things that WILL happen before you eventually come on your period.
1. You don't tell your boyfriend/the last guy you slept with... Even though you really want to. You're late, it's probably nothing, but you still have a massive urge to share your panic with your other half... Or the last dude you went to bed with. It's not fair you're the only one staring at the ceiling late at night wondering how on earth you'll look after a baby when you can't even dry your washing without it getting that weird damp smell.
2. But you do tell the girl you sit next to at work. You. Just. Can't. Suffer. In. Silence. So you tell your colleagues. Then they start talking about how great the maternity package is at your company you regret your decision in an instant.
3. You wonder if you can still take the morning after pill. Is the morning after pill effective after two weeks? You know it isn't, but you google it anyway. Just in case.
4. You get the calendar out. Trying to think back to your last period is not an easy task. You know you had one, but the exact date? Not a chance. You dust off your calendar, thinking you've been clever and marked it on there. You haven't. Damn it.
5. You think about buying a pregnancy test. "I should probably take a pregnancy test, then at least I'll know for sure," you say to yourself. You get as far as the pregnancy test aisle in Tesco, casually eye up the shelf, but you just can't bring yourself to pick one up.
After all that - you come on.
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