For many years, tradition has told us that it's a man's role to make the first move. Whilst the unwritten laws of dating tell us that men should make the first move in the dating game, times are changing. No longer are the days of solemn courtship on the cards, the opportunity to meet someone new has less limitations. Traditions are too timely; you no longer need to wait for 'that guy' to finally make his move - you can act first. The thrill of the chase is something that both men and women (secretly) enjoy, but it doesn't have to just be men that do all the legwork, you can choose to pick him up.
We're not suggesting you disregard the laws of attraction entirely - allowing him to make the first move can be exciting - what we are trying to suggest is don't be limited by cultural gender myths that it's the man's prerogative.
It's the 21st century, and although chivalry isn't dead there's nothing wrong with a woman knowing what she wants and consciously making the first move. Men are learning how to be better through pua so why can't we learn some tips too? A flick of the hair and overzealous giggling at a really bad joke is one thing, but it's time to step it up a notch.
Many women fear rejection and humiliation if they were to act on their impulses and approach a man they're interested in. Self-esteem doesn't have to come from being approached; you can have the same satisfaction from making the move yourself.
Intelligent, liberated, decent men will revel in the confidence of a woman that is willing to make the first move and forget the sexist opinions of others. Until we start worrying less about what others think and more about what our desires are saying, relationships will stay stuck in the past.
Forget the rules, and try the approach. After all, aren't rules meant to be broken?
Be Confident
Don't be fooled into thinking that you'll be valued highly if you wait to be approached. The subtly of body language is most definitely important, but 'tricking' or 'teasing' him with a lingering, irresistible look is not the only way to show him you're interested. Perfect your womanly prowess and the ability to capture a man's attention by sending the right signals. Engage in eye contact, looking directly at him with a subtle, sexy, smile - it'll be hard to resist.
The Decision is yours
There's a lot to be said for female empowerment. When you decide to make the first move, you are, in turn, regaining control. Knowing what you want and acknowledging that enables you to relax and enjoy the possibilities. Waiting and expecting to be approached releases anxiety, and the potential to obsess over the initial impression your date might have of you.
Try listening to your own desires and feelings, by connecting with these you more likely to be in control of what happens. How many times have you been swept away by a guys charm, just because he's made the approach? Know what you want and make the move yourself, it'll not only give you a sense of empowerment, but it will also boost your confidence - and after all, confidence is sexy.
Forget the Game
There are so many rules and regulations on what to do in the dating game. There are so many forbidden behaviours regarding communication. Forget the rules of when to call and don't worry about responding too quickly. These may have worked in the past, but we're in age where instant communications tools (Facebook, Twitter and Skype) are in abundance, giving him the silent treatment just screams that you're playing 'the game'.
If you've been confident enough to show him that you're interested, then sending him a flirty text or inviting him for lunch is not harmful. In fact, he'll probably thank you for being honest and upfront. Not only is this beneficial to know where you both stand now, but it clears the path for relationship possibilities with clear communication.
Relax and Enjoy - You Have Nothing to Lose!
A honourable, self-actualised man will be pleasantly surprised by the confidence of a woman making a move on him. This signals to him that you are a secure, established woman who isn't scared to make a bold move. However if you are faced with someone who recoils at your approach, finding your confidence overbearing, then this is a clear sign of an ill match. It has to be said that there will be some men with insecurities that dislike you approaching them. But, in this instance move on!
Dating with confidence should be fun and exhilarating. Women have relinquished control for far too long. Engage with your female sexuality and feel empowered to make your own decisions. Go out there, meet new people and enjoy yourself.
PUA - Dating Advice for Men
PUA - Dating Advice for Women