Premier League 2013-14 Review Of The Season: An Alternative Awards List

Premier League 2013-14 End Of Season Awards: An Alternative List
|
Open Image Modal
Getty

An absorbing Premier League season ended on something of a whimper on Sunday. A final day so undramatic Newcastle United put in a professional performance to thwart Liverpool's chances of a record winning margin, Manchester City got the job done and are champions.

Liverpool, one of the season's great entertainers, finished second to Manchester City, but provided a fascinating narrative in the final three months.

It is just 12 weeks and five days until the 2014-15 Premier League season begins, but now it is time to reflect on the most recent campaign...

PRESCIENT CHOICE OF WORDS AWARD

Steven Gerrard. He told his teammates not to let the league title "slip", which is exactly what he then did.

GAME OF THE SEASON

Everton 3-3 Liverpool. Two managers committed to attacking football oversaw an absorbing, bonkers and error-strewn contest.

PLAYER OF THE SEASON

Yaya Touré. He's either going past you or you're going with him.

BEST WIND-UP

Sir Alex Ferguson. The oddest thing is, at the time, thousands agreed he was right to overlook a two-time Champions League winner in favour of someone who has won nothing to succeed him.

GOOD RIDDANCE

Vincent Tan. Hopefully he will bid farewell to Cardiff some time soon.

Open Image Modal

BEST FANS

Crystal Palace.

BEST AWAY FANS

Manchester United.

BEST ATMOSPHERE

Selhurst Park.

Open Image Modal

BEST CHANT

"Steve Gerrard, Gerrard, he slipped on his fucking arse, and gave it to Demba Ba, Steve Gerrard Gerrard." Started by Manchester City supporters, it was aired by Evertonians, red Mancunians, Chelsea and Crystal Palace fans.

MUTED CELEBRATION AWARD

Wes Hoolahan took this abhorrent craze to a new level when he scored against Aston Villa for Norwich. You see, Hoolahan wanted to join Villa in January. He has never played for them in his life.

ASTON VILLA FANS' NUMERIC AWARD

Newcastle United. Some fans planned to walk out of the final home game of the season in the 69th minute, only they did it in the 70th minute.

WORST PLAYER WITH A MEDAL

Joleon Lescott.

BEST PLAYER WITHOUT A MEDAL

Luis Suárez. Again.

VOLLEY OF THE SEASON AWARD

Pajtim Kasami vs Crystal Palace. Nobody could do anything to prevent the Fulham midfielder's goal. On the run, he not only had to control the ball on his chest but unleash an unstoppable shot from an acute angle. Everything about it is perfect.

MOST IMPROVED PLAYER

Jordan Henderson.

TEAM GOAL OF THE SEASON AWARD

Jack Wilshere's opener for Arsenal against Norwich. At the time, it appeared Olivier Giroud's assist was a mishit, but it was anything but. Incisive, sharp, swift and silky, computer game enthusiasts will struggle to replicate a similar move and finish.

PHOTOGENIC IN DEFEAT AWARD

David Moyes.

Open Image Modal

FUNNIEST SIGHT OF THE SEASON

A serious-looking Phil Neville running towards the Stamford Bridge tunnel with a bag of footballs.

SADDEST SUPPORTER AWARD

Open Image Modal

SAVE OF THE SEASON

SIGNING/MANAGER OF THE SEASON

Tony Pulis.

WORST MANAGER

Paolo di Canio.

BEST OWN GOAL

HELEN LOVEJOY AWARD

Alan Hansen. The Match of the Day pundit described Alan Pardew's headbutt on David Meyler as "terribly sad".

BEST PUNDIT

Gary Neville. Again. (Honourable mention: Jamie Carragher.)

WORST PUNDIT

Robbie Fowler.

SO BAD IT WAS GOOD

Manchester United and Sunderland's Capital One Cup final penalty shootout. That it was preceded by a goalkeeping howler and a stoppage-time leveller in extra-time only added to the finest error-strewn spectacle in a long time.

TEAM OF THE SEASON

David de Gea; Seamus Coleman, John Terry, Sylvain Distin, Luke Shaw; James McCarthy, Yaya Touré; Eden Hazard, Daniel Sturridge, Sergio Agüero; Luis Suárez

BEST YAYA TOURÉ FREE-KICK

BEST FREE-KICK

WORST COMMENTATOR

Michael Owen. One of the BT Infinity students would be preferable.

BEST BUY

James McCarthy. At £13 million, Everton replaced Marouane Fellaini with a player who cost £14.5m less and is better.

WORST BUY

Ricky van Wolfswinkel.

WORST BANNER

Open Image Modal