Unless you are a glutton for punishment and terrible discounts, everyone knows that summer sales are the worst.
The crowds, the squabbles, the constant nagging feeling that your money would be better spent on tuition fee repayments or investments in gold rather than another pair of culottes.
Not to mention, the uneasy feeling that the top you're buying is actually from 2004 and has been hidden in a stock room for 10 years.
1. You have to commit a whole day to sale shopping, there's no room for browsers here.
2. You go looking for that dress you've wanted for months and find only clothes that look like they are from a 1972 outlet store.
3. Except of course that lovely dress you 'treated' yourself to last week, that's here with 80% off.
4. And all the crap has replaced the new season stock so you can't even console yourself with full-priced items.
5. Sale mania turns people into territorial bitches who use their elbows as a form of attack.
6. All of the clothes are either in a size 6 or size 16. NOTHING in between.
7. WHY do none of the bikinis ever match? Who has been buying these mad sizes?
8. And the underwear. All the 38GG girls must be laughing right now.
9. There is always something with tassels on it.
10. Or paisley. Take the bloody hint Zara.
11. You get attacked by hangers, lose all sense of being a good citizen and throw things on the floor.
12. I'm sure that blouse was in the sale in Christmas 2004?
13. The queues for the changing room are like nothing you've ever seen before.
14. Forget being helpful, the staff are considering handing in their notice here and now.
15. You get blindsided by the low prices and buy a wardrobe full of items that you neither like/have occasion to wear.
16. You get home and remember nothing is refundable because you bought it all on sale. Good work.