This week's award for Crowbarring A Square Peg Into A Round Hole Award goes to the company behind this survey, which has used the festival of Easter to flog its produce in the most eggs-traordinary way.
British Lion Eggs questioned 1,000 kids aged five to one and made the shock discovery that many of them associate Easter with chocolate – and particularly chocolate eggs. Bad children, naughty children! Furthermore, many children didn't know the origins of the name 'Palm Sunday' or the traditional way to mark Lent. Dim children, dopey children!
So what's the solution to this national crisis?
Why, they should be eating more REAL eggs, of course. Of course!
The sages at the BLE say that the true meaning of Easter is so beyond our kids' radar that an omelette or an eggy soldier is the only way to rectify the matter.
A spokesman for BLE said: "Most children look forward to Easter, but it seems many don't actually know why it is celebrated.
"It's worrying to think that so many youngsters will be tucking into several chocolate eggs but have no idea why.
"Eggs have long been associated with Easter and are a symbol of new life.
"But few children realise this and see Easter simply as a time for chocolate and time off school.
"From a health point of view they would be far better eating real eggs rather than chocolate."
Of course they would. Got the message, you evil chocolate-egg-loving children out there? Your stupidity's salvation is at hand – just crack a REAL yolk and tuck in. Don't take my word for it.
The BLE spokesman added: "It's important to make sure our children are aware of the traditions of Easter so they know why we do or eat certain things during that time.
"Eggs are brilliantly versatile, fun to cook with and very nutritious, so kids could do worse than feasting on the real thing this Easter." Square Peg. Round Hole. Job done!