Sharing a bed with someone prone to tossing and turning throughout the night can wreak havoc on your own sleep. But what can you actually do about it (other than moaning a lot the next day)?
Well, buying a mattress that reduces the amount of movement you feel from the other person is one option. Memory foam mattresses are often recommended for this, but they don’t come cheap.
If a big spend isn’t viable, encourage your partner to practise good sleep hygiene, such as avoiding devices, caffeine and alcohol before bed, plus keeping the room at a cool temperature.
This could help them (and you!) to have a better quality night’s kip.
But remember, being restless during the night can’t always be helped. It can be a symptom of stress, anxiety or a health condition like restless leg syndrome, according to the Sleep Foundation.
So, instead of putting the onus on your partner to be still, we asked Kathryn Pinkham, founder of The Insomnia Clinic, for some hacks for sleeping next to a frequent fidgeter.
1. Don’t go to bed too early
“Whatever it is that’s impacting your sleep, the earlier you go to bed, the less likely you are to sleep well. Why? Because the more tired you are, the more likely you are to sleep,” Pinkham tells HuffPost UK. “So, stay up a little later, waiting until you’re truly tired, and then you should find that even if your partner is fidgeting, you fall asleep more easily.”
2. Learn to notice your body
“When someone or something is keeping us awake, we become tense. To help combat this, learn to notice the physical body, and when you notice this feeling, relax the tense areas using progressive muscle relaxation,” says Pinkham.
“This is where you tighten a part of the body and then relax it. This technique will help you to notice if you are tense in bed, and to alleviate this tension.”
3. Manage worries around lack of sleep
“If your partner’s chronic fidgeting is keeping you awake, you’ll probably begin to develop anxiety around having trouble falling asleep. Unfortunately, the more pressure we put on sleep, the worse it gets,” says Pinkham.
“So, take time to notice your thoughts and reframe them. Spend time writing down any negative thoughts you’re having around sleep, then challenge them and let them go. Remember, worrying about sleep won’t improve it, but it will make you feel worse.”
4. Get up early
“Even if you sleep poorly, stick with an alarm time, as this will help you develop a stronger sleep drive,” says Pinkham.
“Your sleep drive is essentially your body’s appetite for sleep, and the earlier you get up, the bigger this appetite will be when bedtime comes around.”
5. If you can’t sleep, leave the room
“If your partner’s fidgeting is causing you to toss and turn, growing more frustrated by the minute, get up and leave the room. Take time out to calm down, doing something like watching TV or reading a book, and then return back to bed once you’re feeling tired,” says Pinkham.
“This will help to avoid building a negative association with bed and sleep, as it will reduce the amount of time you spend in bed feeling frustrated, and increase the amount of time you spend in it actually sleeping.”