Here is a little speech I did at the Everyday Day Sexism Gala about this time last year. I promise there was laughter for 30 mins beforehand. I have been asked by a few people to transcribe so here it is!
"I wanted to finish on something and its not funny but it's something I wrote to myself on a day I was feeling really down because sometimes it's tough being a woman doing comedy...would you like to hear it?"
*Yes* (thank fuck)
"It's not funny and it's a bit bombastic but I feel like I should say it because if there is one night I feel like I can do it....and it was after I had spent a day crying! So, erm just bear that in mind!"
"I wrote an empowering speech to myself and it goes like this....
Every block you put in my way makes me find another way round. When it is not handed on a silver platter I will get better and better until it is undeniable who I am and what I am capable of. My male contemporaries unfortunately will lag behind as although their exposure will be wide their growth is stunted.
My struggle like every artist makes me who I am, I WILL be brilliant and reveal your petty misogynist and classist thought. Every time you try to diminish a woman to a sex object who is solely there for your gratification another will rise up ten times cleverer than you and make you eat your words. I will take you all on and I will win. You may not want women to prosper and push forward but I will be there making sure we do. You won't be able to move for my tv network, my stand up specials, my films, my books, my chat show, etc (laughs) high hopes...
SO if you continually block my path on the way up the mountain don't expect me to throw a rope down when I get to the top...and I will get to the top and stay there for a very long time. One day you will ruefully laugh when I am above you all and you realise you could have just given me a chance "
*Applause* (fuck yeah)
"Erm, thanks, don't make me emotional. I just really hope for the young ones out there, I just hope you shine fucking bright and do it because it is all in front of you....and women we are out there and we are brilliant and people don't say it enough so I will say it now. You are magnificent "