In a Reddit post shared with r/AmITheAsshole (AITA), a site user asked, “AITA for refusing to pay for my stepdaughter’s tuition because she never liked me?“
The woman shared that she had been with her husband for eight years when she posted the question; they’d been married for six of those years.
Her husband had two children from a previous marriage ― a 20-year-old son, and a 19-year-old daughter, “Emma”. Meanwhile, the poster had one child, a nine-year-old daughter, when they met.
“I was a widow when I met my husband,” she explained.
Emma was unhappy with the match
From the poster’s perspective, Emma had a problem with her relationship from the start.
“Emma had severe issues with her father getting married again while her brother got along very well with me and my daughter,” she alleged.
While now, her stepson “is the best older brother out there” to her daughter, she claims “Emma did not like me and she treated my daughter very badly... to the degree that [the poster’s daughter] almost never left my arms when [Emma] was home.”
When Emma was 15, she moved in with her birth mother.
This rift led to money issues
“My deceased husband left me a small fortune when he passed that I never touched... so last year I helped paying my stepson’s tuition,” the poster explained.
“I am planning to do that with my daughter too,” she added, stating she’ll give what’s left after that to her daughter as well.
“I never had a good relationship with [Emma],” the p[roster added. “She always hated me and I don’t think she’s becoming a good person and honestly, I would rather leave more to my daughter than pay for her ungrateful ass.“
Her husband and stepdaughter are unhappy with the imbalance, with the father calling it “unjust.”
People were supportive of her decision
I was honestly surprised to read the responses that the post, now officially labelled “not the asshole,” got.
“She has no claim on your money. She hasn’t treated you as family so you don’t have to treat her as family. Your husband should feel blessed you chose to give some of your first husband’s money to his son,” one commenter said.
“They’re all ungrateful. Instead of being appreciative of what you are giving, they look at what else they can demand from you... step-parent does not mean they are entitled to your assets,” another commented.
Still, some people disagreed ― “You chose this situation. She did not. This is so traumatic and not all kids handle it well. What kind of therapy did you guys get her? I have a step daughter. It takes time and patience and understanding,” yet another commenter shared.
“Even if everything you say is true what purpose other then spite do you have for not paying? You don’t need the money and it is going to make your husbands life much harder and darker. Isn’t your husband alone worth paying the money you say you don’t need or care about?”
Nonethless, a majority of the comments suggested the stepmother wasn’t to blame.
But what do you think?