All parents know that the true marker of entering the new parent club is surviving your first explosive nappy change.
How one tiny person can make so much mess we will never know, and if we didn’t love them so much we would be inclined to just leave them to sort it out.
These are the 10 struggles with baby poo that all parents will understand.
1. Amazement at the sheer quantities.
You don’t even eat that much.
2. The confusion when you find it in their hair.
But how?
3. The distress when they haven’t quite finished.
CLOSE THE FLOODGATES.
4. The first time they put their hands in it.
Then proceed to smear it f**king everywhere.
5. The horror of having to wipe it out of crevices.
That is unpleasant.
6. The embarrassment of your child pulling a strain face in public.
No shame in this game.
7. The endless wondering about the colour.
What does green mean?
8. The poo-based questions you only ask Google.
There should be a manual for this.
9. The victory when you find a stain remover that works.
Hallelujah.
10. The realisation that you never thanked your parents enough for putting up with this shit.
Thanks guys.