When working in an office environment that has felt hostile and cliquey, finding your people arguably becomes more important. And while my time at my workplace could best be described as being a fish out of water, I have been able to find a small number of colleagues who aren’t only friendly, but also been essential to my survival in the lion’s den.
The term ‘ally’ has been bandied around often in discourse found online recently, but when you’re in a workplace that calls for different cultural norms than that found in your personal life, finding supportive co-workers is essential. And while it can be tough being young, black, and female in the workplace, the strongest allies can come from any background.
Take a colleague of mine. White. Male. Generation Y – he was born a little too late to be a millennial. But this man has been instrumental in changing the dynamic of the office and welcoming ideas from the bosses at the top to the inexperienced staff who work irregular hours.
Yet most importantly, this older, white male has been instrumental in helping me with difficulties that only women can face work-wise and has been a consistent supporter of accepting ideas that target our customers from more diverse backgrounds.
Another supporter is a woman who goes against every stereotypical trait expected in an employee in my workplace. Rather than stuffy, she’s easygoing. Instead of being afraid of speaking the unspeakable – like maybe not all Brexit voters look or sound the same – she voices her opinions unapologetically. And while the next sentence sounds cruel, she’s not terrified of appearing attractive. To her, women don’t have to be tied down to a reliable cardigan and a sturdy flat shoe to be taken seriously. This is the only office I’ve been in where I’ve heard people look down on and insult others for caring about their appearance.
Don’t get me wrong – there are nice people to be found in all parts of my organisation. But what even is ‘nice’? The slightly more interesting cousin of ‘pleasant’, nice has no weight and conveys a certain type of sinfully boring existence. These particular colleagues aren’t just a genuine joy to be around, but have consistently made me feel like I belong.
The one thing that appears to bind us all is that none of us are the privately or grammar schooled, privileged prototype for where I work. In a week where the intake of Oxbridge applicants has dominated much of the news again, having the people I’ve described be part of the business is crucial and all I hope for is that my workplace opens up even more to accept such individuals.
They don’t know it, but I consider them my fellow misfits. The advice I would give to people like me who feel like they have stumbled into a prestigious workplace where the environment is hostile, competitive, and cliquey, is to push through the discomfort. Yes, you are now in a position where your ability to sink or swim could impact on whether you survive, but please know that no matter how awful and alien it appears at the beginning, there will be two or so people in the office who will make everything feel that little bit less uncomfortable.
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• This column is being published anonymously to allow the author to lift the lid on her experience in a high-profile organisation.