Dearest B,
With the world between us, and a time difference that makes even Skyping nyon impossible, I thought I'd write you this little note. Otherwise we both know that my baby-adled brain will completely forget all that I want to say.
First and foremost hugest congratulations! Although a third baby was inevitable for you and S at some point, the likelihood is that this was not planned and therefore a massive shock to the system. At 17 weeks you probably haven't even announced it at large, because you feel it might be seen as greedy having three when some poor souls desperately want just one but don't have any.
I know you can't see past the nausea at the moment, but even if it lasts the entire nine months (which I sincerely hope it doesn't), you know already how fast the time passes. Before you know it you'll have that bubba in your arms, life will be very different and the sickness will be long forgotten.
The fact is, most people aren't brave enough to have a third. It's such a big jump going from one to two, that it puts most folk off having another one. There is much written about the third child being the hardest, and I'm inclined to agree. I'm certainly not brave enough to have the fourth I always said I wanted.
I know for a fact that your new addition will only be fed in the sling, which will free up your hands to become even more adept at multi-tasking. Coffee will become your new best friend, closely followed by dry shampoo. You'll make your peace early on with how much of a tip the house is in most of the time; and you'll go through stages of feeling despondent over how much your standards have dropped.
You'll question how you will possibly function on an even smaller amount of sleep than you were getting before. Surely you can't do it? After discovering that yes indeed you very much can, you will surprise yourself and wistfully start future gazing; wondering about how much more you could achieve if only you were getting six solid hours a night.
This one won't go to any play groups, but somehow s/he will be more advanced than the girls were at his/her age. They will be an Olympic crawler at six months, and play with toys meant for a three or four year old by the age of one.
Baby toys will be looked upon with absolute disgust and given away to friends who are expecting their first child. They will LIVE in onesies for at least the first year of their life. You will feel guilty that this one never gets any of your attention, but console yourself that all third children have TCS.
You will marvel multiple times a day about how much life has changed. How it's so far removed from the carefree travelling lifestyle we used to live and now seems so out of reach. I know that you and S will get yourselves on the road again, and prove that it is possible to be adventurous whilst having three kids. Of that I have no doubt.
You will look ahead often, and wonder when it all starts getting easier. Take it from me honey, it never gets easier. Life with three kids (or any amount of kids for that matter) will always be challenging. Embrace the challenges, and learn to find some enjoyment in even the toughest days.
Know that we love you all so very much, and hope to see your beautiful faces again in person some time soon.
Very best of luck to you my darling friend,
Reneé xx