Christmas and winter festivities are often associated with themes of family, reunion, and getting together to celebrate another year passing. However, according to British Red Cross, for many refugees, the festive period is sometimes “the loneliest time of the year.”
With families living apart and people often coming to the UK without knowing many or even any people here, a time of togetherness can make isolation feel intensified.
At a Christmas baubles workshop organised by the British Red Cross, the charity sat down with two refugee fathers to discuss how they coped when spending this time away from those closest to them.
“Don’t be alone, life will get easier for you”
Qerim, a father of two who first arrived in the UK after fleeing the conflict in Kosovo in 1999 spoke of his early years here saying, “When these kinds of holidays happen – Christmas, New Year’s Eve, Eid, Easter – that’s when the people feel the loneliest.”
He added, “These are the times when people get together, they share food and laughter. When you’re on your own, it triggers a lot of trauma people are dealing with.”
Qerim also shared how he eventually overcame these challenges saying, “My coping strategy was to create my own festive traditions. That’s how I got over those early years of missing my family.”
Mustafa is a father of two that arrived in the UK in 2019. He’s originally from Syria and he wanted to support others that were going through the same journey of settling in a same country as he was. He joined the British Red Cross as a volunteer around 18 months ago.
He explained, “When I first arrived in Bristol I was helped by different organisations and many people. I thought to myself, after settling in, I’d like to give back to my community.”
At the time, Mustafa was separated from his wife and children but fortunately, he wasn’t alone for the holidays. Recalling his early days here in the UK, he said, “I remember the first Christmas and New Year’s Eve I celebrated here in the UK with a British family before my family joined me. ”
He continued: “They had invited me to share a Christmas dinner with them and we had some Christmas turkey. I bought them a New Year’s card and a small gift to say thank you.”
This year, Mustafa is spending the festive period with his family, and they’ve started their own traditions. The family buy letter decorations that spell out ‘Happy New Year’ and hang them on the wall with some lights. Mustafa also said they’ll sometimes take their children out to a restaurant, “because we don’t have much family here – not like how it used to be back in Syria. But at least we do something.”
The advice Mustafa gives to refugees waiting to be reunited with their families is to try to have fun, despite the hardship: “Celebrate your holidays, festivals, and anniversaries – whether it’s Christmas, Eid, or something else. Enjoy yourself.”
He also encourages other refugees to take part in local events and engage with the community, adding, “don’t be alone, life will get easier for you.”
The two both designed Christmas baubles for the charity’s ‘Baubles by Refugees’ collection and speaking on his design, Mustafa said he thought about his daughter saying, “The idea [for the bauble design] came from my daughter. When I was decorating the Red Cross baubles, I thought to myself ’if my daughter was here with me, she’d do it better; I have to try harder.”
Explaning the design of his baubles, Qerim, a joiner by trade back in his home of Kosovo said, “I like experimenting with shapes and colours. Before I came to the UK, I used to work as a joiner back in Kosovo.”
“I was always interested to see how people use colour schemes at their homes. Sometimes I’d go to a house and see three different coloured walls and think ‘I had no idea that could work’,” he adds.