An announcer built up a head of steam after a packed train was delayed as a result of a carriage window being broken.
He began by apologising when the South West Trains service running between Bournemouth, Dorset, and London Waterloo halted near Southampton, Hampshire, early on Sunday evening.
The announcer told passengers there would be a delay because "individuals" had thrown rocks at the train and smashed a window.
When the train resumed its journey he made a further announcement - this time describing the "individuals" as "a couple of dickheads".
Further down the line he called them "pond life with the intellectual capacity of a flip-flop".
When the train reached its destination - 11 minutes late - he described them as "muppets".
Passengers laughed at each announcement.
The train had stopped at Southampton Airport shortly after 5pm.
"Individuals threw objects and rocks at the train," the announcer - who did not reveal what job he did on the train - told passengers.
"We have got a smashed window which needs repairing before we can move."
When the train began moving again, he explained: "We are running 10 minutes late ladies and gents. This is all down to, if you will forgive my profanity, a couple of dickheads throwing rocks at the train just before Southampton Airport."
He told passengers who got on at Winchester, Hampshire: "The service is running 10 minutes late. This is due to the train coming under attack at Southampton Airport. Some pond life down there with the intellectual capacity of a flip-flop threw rocks at the train."
When the train reached London Waterloo, at around 7pm, he said: "We are 11 minutes late due to the incident at Southampton Airport - where these muppets attacked the train."