Ukip Really Want You To Chuck Eggs At This Nigel Farage Poster

Want To Egg Nigel Farager? Ukip Will Give You 100 Points
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Ukip officials have hatched a plan to put any yolkers off chucking eggs at their offices in Cardiff South and Penarth, by scrambling to put up a cracking poster of their leader Nigel Farage for them to shell instead.

Farage has a starring role on the Ukip poster, alongside local candidate John Rees-Evans, who both have targets on their faces, with would-be egg-chuckers jokingly given points for a direct hit. The posters have been so successful that no more egg attacks have happened, leaving Ukip officials feeling sunny side up.

In an attached note, the party asks their “dearly beloved Anarchist friends” to remember that any eggs thrown will mean more work for their window cleaner Kevin, who is not a Ukip member.

The letter reads:

“To our dearly beloved Anarchist friends,

With respect to the interests and livelihood of our non-member window cleaner, Kevin, we kindly ask that you please consider confining your egg-throwing to one of the targets supplied. Our volunteers will then undertake to clean the physical expressions of your opposition to our presence and our views, ourselves.

With sincere thanks,

Team Ukip Cardiff South and Penarth"

Ukip’s prospective parliamentary candidate for Caerphilly, Sam Gould, told the Guardian: “You’ve got to take the fun out of it. The only way we can show we’re different is to show we’re down to earth and can laugh at ourselves.”