There are two types of English people. Those who are excited about the once in a lifetime opportunity to see the Olympics on home turf, and those who are absolutely against it at all costs.
I don't care either way.
And that isn't good enough.
My main grievance with the Olympics, is that I am not participating in it. Despite years of below average athletic achievement (I once raced in a half marathon and almost completed it), there was a part of me that, deep down, thought I would one day get to experience some kind of sporting glory. It turns out that to participate in the Olympics, you need to show some indication of being able to compete for a medal, or at least finish the race on the same day as your opponents.
Aside from their refusal to let me compete - I am otherwise not bothered either way about the games. The trains will be more crowded? Yesterday a small woman and a very large child trapped my head in between the hand-holding-thingy and the emergency lever. I was stuck in this difficult position all the way from Bond Street to Stratford. My point? There's no way it can get any worse than it already is.
I am, I admit, somewhat concerned by the notion that the military will be putting defence missiles on top of housing; but there's no telling just how much of a danger the British public will be when our athletes disappoint on the track and field. Hopefully the weaponry will convince them to walk home quietly and soberly without resorting to riots, fighting and name-calling.
I could be annoyed about the corporate nature of the games. After all, the Olympic Stadium is situated inside a shopping centre, and apparently all of the venues in the Olympic Park have an unobstructed view of the Marks & Spencer's sign. Did you know that the only fries you are allowed to eat on the site are McDonalds, and the only bank cards you can use are Visa? I was outraged by this until I called the organisers, who put my mind at rest --- luckily, McDonalds do accept Visa, so no problem there.
Other potential grievances: motorways being jam-packed, unavailability of tickets, the dismantling of stadia immediately after the games and David Beckham not being on Team GB.
Yes, the motorways are going to be extremely busy, but this is wonderful! It means I don't have to visit Aunt Beatrice, nor do I have to look after Steve and Amy's children when they go away. Perfect! No tickets available? Oh how sad, I was desperate to see grown men and women jumping into sand pits and throwing large sticks across a field! It's just not the same on the television.
The dismantling of the stadia is understandable. Where else can we find space to build more shopping centres?
But I am disappointed that David Beckham wasn't chosen to represent his country. He would have been fantastic in the Canoe Slalom. Or maybe as a trampolinist.
Despite all of these potential reasons to hate the Olympics - I remain, at best, disinterested. I am much like the weather that has been forecast for the games: likely to be rainy and miserable, with potential for bright sunniness; but mostly likely to be grumpily drizzly throughout.