Being a Hollywood actor is all red carpets, celebrity parties and paying staff to bring you a bowl of Frosties when you get hungry in the middle of the night, right? Wrong.
Actor Mark Wahlberg has shared his daily routine in a Q&A on his Instagram page this week and it makes for thoroughly depressing reading.
Not only does the 47-year-old wake up at 2.30am every morning (grim) but has to do two workouts per day, expose himself to -100 temperatures in a cryotherapy chamber and then goes to bed before the sun has even set.
Although the ‘Planet Of The Apes’ star explained that this was in preparation for his new film role - and only lasted for a period of 47 days - that’s still the best part of seven weeks spent in this mad nocturnal existence.
And we have a few questions.
Firstly, could he not just shift the whole schedule back several hours? For example, if he got up at 5.30am and went to bed at 10.30pm? That’s still the same number of hours in his day but within more normal human waking hours.
And going to bed at 7.30pm - does this mean he’s hitting the hay before his children? Does he feel like a toddler? What sleep remedy is this man using? And given he’s living in California it’s definitely before the sun goes down.
Speaking of bedtime habits, we’ve got to ask: does he ever have time for sex in this routine? Apart from the rather inexplicable 90 minutes dedicated to having a shower – is that alone? – there is little wiggle room for him to even just have a conversation with his wife during daylight hours let alone anything else.
He also revealed what all those snack and meal breaks actually look like, and we have to say it’s giving us a stomach ache just thinking about it.
He said: “I start out with oats, peanut butter and blueberries and eggs for breakfast. Then I have a protein shake, which is a Performance Inspired Nutrition vanilla latte shake, three turkey burgers, five pieces of sweet potato.”
Not only is that a huge amount of food, but also at 5.30 in the morning.
At 8am he then has ten turkey meatballs, followed two hours later by a grilled chicken salad with two hard boiled eggs, avocado, cucumber, tomato, lettuce.
Around one o’clock he has a New York steak with green peppers and then at half three, a grilled chicken. Then for dinner he has white fish with vegetables.
And we haven’t even got started on the cryotherapy – does he have one in his house? Is an hour really an appropriate amount of time to be stood naked in freezing temperatures? Are you enjoying all of this?
We’re not sure we fancy a career change afterall.