Anyone getting married knows that there is a certain amount of planning you just can't sidestep. No matter how big, or small, your wedding is going to be, you cannot avoid involving people, offending people or worrying about people. This, unfortunately, comes with the territory. But alas, all is not lost. Because no matter what you think you think you know, or who you think you're offending, when it comes to your wedding, the only person who really has the final say is you.
With that in mind, here's some advice from one bride-to-be to another, on what to expect when planning your special day, and how to accept and work around the inevitable.
You are the boss
Please remember this. It's vitally important and you'll need it when times get tough. You are the boss. Say it out loud: I AM THE BOSS (feels good, doesn't it?).
There will always be someone you offend at your wedding
Don't worry about what people think. Mostly because they probably aren't thinking it, and mainly because you will never be able to change what they think anyway. And most certainly because they won't be the ones looking back on the day in years to come.
Listen to people's suggestions
If you are involving family and friends in the planning of your special day, you can't expect them not to come up with ideas. The trick here is to be ready. Listen to what they have to say and consider it, but always remember what you want, and if it's not what you want, don't do it.
Don't go off course
It's very easy for things to grow and change without you even noticing it. Keep your vision in your head and stick to it as much as you can. There will be suggestions thrown at you left, right and centre, from above and from below, sometimes you won't even know they are there until it's too late. People get very excited when it comes to weddings, especially family. They mean well. But remember, this is your day and they are sharing it with you.
Be clear on what you want
It can be very hard to lay down the law. People will offer their advice when you really don't want it and they will think they are helping when in fact they are causing you stress. Repetition is the key. When people make suggestions that are unwanted, say: "thank you, but we are not going to do that." If it falls on deaf ears, just repeat yourself; they will hear you eventually.
Allocate jobs
People like to feel they are helping. They want to be a part of your plans. Give people roles. It's a great way of relieving pressure and even if you think you don't need help, you might just be surprised with how much you do.
Consider people's feelings
Don't forget the people who love you. They may, or may not, tell you if they feel pushed out, ignored or forgotten. It's important to remember that although it will always be your special day, they have always loved you. Don't forget them.
Have a wingwoman
Don't get too protective over your day. Sharing your plans with someone you love is something only you and that person will share. Involve them. It's more important than you realise.
Share your day
Your wedding day is about love. So fill it with people you love, and who love you.
Enjoy it
This time will never come around again so enjoy every moment of it, embrace the frustrations, and don't forget to laugh along the way.