Worried everyone else is having more sex than you? A new survey has found fewer than half of Brits are having sex at least once a week, and the amount of sex we’re all having is declining.
The research, which analysed data of 34,000 men and women found that for those over the age of 25 (who were married or living with a partner) the rate of sex has dropped, leaving more of us wanting more time between the sheets.
And it seems modern life is partly to blame for the drop, as lead study author, Professor Kaye Wellings, says: “Several factors are likely to explain this decline, but one may be the sheer pace of modern life.
“It is interesting that those most affected are in mid-life, the group often referred to as the ‘U-bend’ or ‘sandwich’ generation. These are the cohorts of men and women who, having started their families at older ages, are often juggling childcare, work and responsibilities to parents who are getting older.”
The data from the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine was based on three versions of the National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles (1991, 2001 and 2012) and compared the answers in each.
It showed a general decline in sexual activity in Britain between 2001 and 2012, with the steepest declines among the over-25s. The 2012 study showed 41% of men and women had sex once a week or more in the last month.
Among both men and women who were married or living together, the odds of reporting sex 10 or more times in the past month were roughly halved.
The authors said: “Those aged under 25 years and those currently single are less likely to be sexually active, but we saw the steepest declines in sexual frequency in those aged 25 and over and those married or cohabiting.”
Men and women in better physical and mental health had sex more frequently, as did those who were fully employed and those with higher earnings.
The researchers noted that the average number of times that 35 to 44-year-olds reported having sex in the past month fell from four to two among women and from four to three among men.
Despite this trend being widespread, it doesn’t stop us from all believing that everyone is having more sex than us. “Most people believe that others have more regular sex than they do themselves. Many people are likely to find it reassuring that they are not out of line,” Wellings said.
“More than half of the men and women taking part in the study said they’d prefer to have sex more often, which could partly stem from unfavourable comparisons with what they think is the norm.”
Not only did researchers suggest that the stresses of modern life were to blame but also how technology allows those stressful parts of our lives to more seamlessly seep into our homes. The authors said: “Life in the digital age is considerably more complex than in previous eras, the boundary between the private space of home and the public world outside is blurred, and the internet offers considerable scope for diversion.”
They also suggested that gender equality might have a role to play. “Where women might previously have felt obliged to meet their partner’s sexual needs irrespective of their own, they might now be less inclined to do so.”