We humans are hardwired to crave adventures and excitement; the thrill of experiences that make our hearts race, are entirely new and can be enjoyed again and again in the retelling and resharing.
Children in particular need to experience adventure in their play. During adventurous play, children are in charge, instinctively making decisions as they assess and determine the levels of risk they want to take, physically, emotionally and socially.
Through personal experience of making these decisions, they grow in confidence and learn how to keep themselves safe by testing their physical capabilities.
But today kids are growing up in a risk-averse society, whether it’s we parents ‘cotton wooling’ our children with the constant refrain of ‘be careful’ or the lack of adventure playgrounds and access to outdoors spaces where children can ‘run wild’. Instead, kids get their excitement by playing online games or the strap-in, sit-tight adrenaline rides of theme parks.
This summer why not challenge your kids (and yourselves) to seek out more adventures?
1. Get away from screens
“Face out, not face down,” says Linda Blair, clinical psychologist, Telegraph columnist and author of The Happy Child: Everything you need to know to raise enthusiastic, confident children.
“These days children are so used to two-dimensional play - themselves and the screen - so we need to encourage their spatial skills and three-dimensional play and make time when devices are turned off.”
Meet friends in the park (or better still, if they’re old enough, let them go without you and arrange a later rendezvous), go for a walk on the wild side, go camping, go wild swimming, go somewhere new and do something adventurous.
2. Be a positive role model
Yep, that one again, but it matters. Younger children will want to adventure with you, whether it’s turning over logs and stones to find bugs, exploring rock pools together or running down the steep hill because, well, who wouldn’t want to? You’re aiming to give them a sense of awe and excitement.
With older children and teenagers, tell them stories of scrapes you got into as a child and how you coped in different situations and talk about what they would do in different situations, if they had an accident or got lost. This isn’t scare-mongering, it’s dealing with life. Actively encourage them to explore for themselves.
3. Do something different today
“Treasure hunts are the most fun for kids,” says Linda Blair. “They love them because they’re testing themselves physically with that wonderful release of endorphins but mentally too and as a team.”
If you always go to the same swimming pool, go to an outdoor one or better still go wild swimming. If you always go to the same park, go to a new playground with more challenging equipment.
“Ask your kids, What shall we do this summer that’s new?” suggests Linda. “We call this the forced choice decision - give them options, but not option to do nothing. Children are pushed so much in school that we need to give them opportunities to do things simply for the fun of it; not to be goal-orientated but to open their minds to new opportunities.”
“We put lots of pieces of papers with different ideas in a jar at the beginning of the summer holiday and pull new ones out at the start of each holiday day,” says mum Tania. “Of course, there are going to be some cast aside or that aren’t possible - hang gliding is a stretch too far - but it does mean you’re not stuck in the same old dull routine.”
4. Encourage your children to have a go.
Pushing your children when they are genuinely fearful will only lead to tears and trauma, but supporting your child to have a go shows you believe they’re capable.
If your child wants to climb a tree, don’t plead with them to get down but give them a lift up and use phrases like ‘put your foot there’ or ‘you’re safe - I’ll catch you if you fall’.
Afterwards, big them up with praise and next time they’ll remember they can do it and want to go higher, more confidently.