Woman Masturbating With Rampant Rabbit Vibrator Crashes Mini Cooper Into Stationary Fish Wagon

Masturbating Woman Crashes Mini Cooper Into Stationary Fish Wagon
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A woman who crashed her Mini Cooper into the back of a fish van was reportedly masturbating with a Rampant Rabbit-stylevibrator at the time of the inopportune prang.

The incident occurred in Cirencester, and saw the vehicle suddenly lurch forward in a traffic queue and strike a stationary van belonging to fresh fish specialist M&J Seafood.

The van driver’s bosses checked footage from the vehicle’s rear camera, which revealed the startled woman clutching the sex toy and hurriedly buttoning up her trousers, the Gloucestershire Echo reports.

A source told the newspaper: “A driver was called into the office and feared he was getting the sack. He’d been on his first shift after looking for work for ages.

“The bosses told him it wasn’t his fault and then said ‘Have you seen this?’ He was like ‘What the fuck’. They all had a good laugh. Apparently the lady was pretty fit.”

A spokesman for M&J Seafood’s parent company Brakes confirmed the incident occurred but refused to comment further, adding the matter was now in the hands of its insurers.

Naturally, Twitter is having lots of vulgar fun with this one...