Like snowflakes, every breakup is unique in its own (terrible) way. Did your sixth grade boyfriend really need to dump you via AIM and then put up an emo song lyric that was clearly about you? Did your long-distance girlfriend need to wait until you’d booked a trip to visit before letting you know she wasn’t feeling it anymore?
Probably not!
With uniquely bad breakups top of mind, we recently asked readers to share the most unforgettable breakup they’ve ever experienced. See what they had to say below. Responses have been lightly edited for clarity.
The Post-It Note
“I once got dumped via a Post-it note. It wasn’t even a full note ― just a tiny sticky with ‘Sorry, it’s over. Bye!’ written on it. The kicker? They stuck it on my favourite mug.” ― Moni Zhang, a stand-up comedian and mental health activist
The Drama Club Dumper
“In high school I dated a girl who broke up with me to date my best friend. She did so at a Christmas party our drama club was throwing. She then proceeded to give me a bag of trinkets ― which seemed like they were from the dollar store ― almost like a consolation prize. One of the gifts was a spatula? Really weird night.” ― Ryan Bailey, the host of the podcast “So Bad It’s Good With Ryan Bailey”
The Serial Ghoster
“I was dating someone from work over the summer and I thought it was going well. She then ghosted me for two weeks. While I was out for an afternoon run, she phoned and explained how messed up she was feeling and she wanted to go back to being friends. We then met up two weeks later ‘as friends,’ got drunk and she asked to go back to my place. We then slept together and after she said she wanted to try again.
“Again, I got ghosted for two more weeks until I get a WhatsApp with her explaining how she wasn’t ready for a relationship and was not in a good place and needed to be on her own for a bit. A week later, I see her post on her socials with a new boyfriend.” ― Mark Nicholas, a stand-up comedian
The Married Man
“In my early 20s, I was dating an older man for a couple of months, pretty casually. We’d see each other maybe twice a week because he was always so busy working late. Turns out, he was closeted and married and I was his side piece, all things I found out when his wife showed up to the coffee shop I worked at and confronted me and told me to stay away from her man, and called me all kinds of names and slurs. As she walked out the door, she turned back and showed me the gun she had in her purse. I still see both of them around town to this day and if she sees me, she pats her purse while glaring at me.” ― Ian Aber, a comedian
The Email
“I had been visiting New York City for a week with a friend when I got this email, telling me he was getting back with his ex. The guy who sent it had told me he loved me just one day before my departure. I read it at Grand Central Station on my way back home ― fun.” ― Amy Lynn Hardy, an author
The Holiday Dumper
“The worst breakup I experienced was my first ‘boyfriend,’ where he indirectly ended our relationship the day before Valentine’s Day. He really didn’t give a specific rhyme or reason but only said that he ‘had to figure some things out.’ He reached back out to me on Easter, and we tried seeing each other again. I broke up with him shortly after because I realised he not only wanted to break up with me to avoid celebrating with me, but I found out he had a girlfriend of seven years who called me after reading our text messages.” ― Cheyenne M. Davis, a writer, DJ and multimedia content creator
The Play
“I once took a date to see a piece of immersive theatre that was performed in pitch darkness with the audience wearing headsets that would play the show’s audio directly into their ears. The dialogue of the show directly addressed you as if you were a character within the show, and the name that you were given in the scripted dialogue happened to be her actual name. She therefore became convinced that I had invented, rehearsed, staged and produced the entire show purely to freak her out, and accused me of as much after it finished. I insisted I hadn’t and said it was just a weird coincidence and that I was so sorry that it had freaked her out so much, but when we got on the train to go home she waited until the doors were about to close, then legged it off the train and I never heard from her again. I still feel absolutely terrible about it.” ― Joz Norris, a writer and comedian
The High School Ghoster
“One time in high school I dated this guy that I was totally obsessed with and everything was perfect, and then he disappeared from school for six months without a word and, in the process, ghosted me. His friends told me he was super depressed, and I was crushed. Even when he got better he never talked to me again. This messed me up good. I was so sad that I used to daydream about black holes. The worst part was that right after this happened the song ‘Somebody That I Used To Know’ came out and played everywhere for a year. It felt like the universe was dunking on me. and it did. So hard.” ― Elle Orlando, a comedian
The ‘Pics Or It Didn’t Happen’
“I had an ex who was a comedian like myself, and he invited me to his show, got me to take pictures of him and hype him up. Then he drove me back to his place and broke up with me! I was so confused why he wanted me at his show if he knew he was going to break up with me. It felt very calculated and planned.” ― Katerina Robinson, a content creator and comedian
The Cheater Who Got Hers
“Some years ago, my live-in girlfriend of nearly three years cheated on me with another woman ― in our living room while I was asleep in our bedroom. The next morning, she promptly told me we were over. I’d had no clue it was coming. But I had the last laugh: The woman my ex dumped me for was a diamond dealer, and she was arrested (and jailed) nine months later for smuggling.” ― A.L. Brooks, a writer