Let’s be real – although dating is meant to be fun, it can be absolute chaos, especially when it comes to that all important first date.
Some can have sparks flying, chemistry and sexual tensions. Others are enough to put us off dating for life.
And okay, love and romance is all nice and stuff, but if we’re being honest with ourselves, the thing we actually enjoy hearing about the most are dating horror stories.
We asked for your most unhinged first stories and boy, you guys did not disappoint.
Buckle up — these stories may just convince that you love is dead.
1. The Budding ‘Artist’
2. The Opportunist
3. The ‘Reformed’ Compulsive Liar
“I was on a date with a girl who wouldn’t let me leave! We met for a coffee, then she wanted to go for a bubble tea as I had never had one, and proceeded to tell me all about how she “was” a compulsive liar and it’s important to her that she’s honest with me from the get go…
“She then made me go on the big wheel, I’m terrified of heights, and I had a chest infection and was really struggling… I took out my phone to book an Uber and she TOOK IT OFF ME.
“She then walked into YoSushi, with my phone still on her possession, so I followed and she sat and ordered 3 plates of food (I had none and kept asking for my phone back) and she insinuated that I should pay for her food - to which I declined and she said it would’ve been nice if I just bought her dinner on the first date.
“It didn’t even end there - she kept my phone and walked into a pub and ordered herself two drinks, me none as I didn’t drink at the time as I was on antibiotics, and I literally had to grab my phone out of her pocket and left her there and blocked her on my way out.” – Anonymous
4. The ‘Rapper’
5. The ‘Love At First Sight’ Guy
6. Maybe we’re the problem?
“I was taken to a private members club on our first date and he kissed me and I projectile vomited everywhere. Afterwards I ran to the bathroom, fell into the cubicle while projectile vomiting and ripped the wallpaper off the wall because it was so severe… I gargled some water out the tap and got some chewing gum and left the bathroom as if nothing happened.” – Anonymous
7. The Party Animal
“Went back to the guy’s house after the first date went well but his flat was manky. Like, DISGUSTING.
“I perched on his bed while he went to make another drink, and after 20 mins I wandered down and saw he’d passed out face down on the couch. I couldn’t drive home cause I’d been drinking, so I went back into bed.
“I then woke up to him apologising and begging me not to leave. Made up some excuse about having to leave for work, and he then spat in my face and asked if I liked that. No second date.” – Anonymous
8. The Alan Partridge Fan
“I once had a guy leave half way through a pint because I don’t like Steve Coogan… We were chatting about comedy and he said how much he liked Alan Partridge.
“I said I didn’t find him that funny so my date said it wasn’t worth dragging it out and left.” – Anonymous
9. The Rebound
10. The Misogynist
11. The ‘Self Love’ Friend
12. The Escape Artist
13. The Lemon Eater
“I went on a date with an older man when I was in my early 20s. His friend came into the diner we were in and they talked to each other the entire time in Greek (I do not speak Greek). He then proceeded to eat the lemon wedges from both of our plates, skin and all. He asked for sex before I left by pointing to his crotch and making a pretty vulgar comment.
“He then spent 3 months calling and messaging me anywhere up to 100 times a day. The whole thing felt like a fever dream.”
14. No Shoes, No Service
“I went on a date with a guy in LA. He turned up with a bottle of milk and wasn’t wearing his shoes correctly. Safe to say it was downhill from there….”
15. The Wine Enthusiast
“I went on a first date to a wine bar and the person I was with didn’t feel like splitting a bottle but then proceeded to order 11 individual glasses of the same wine.”
16. Life Is A Rollercoaster, Baby
“We met at Thorpe Park. He turned up extremely hung over. We went on two rides. He vomited. We left.”
17. The Oversharer
“It was outdoors on the hottest day on record last year, he was a stand up comedian who told me very early on that he lost his virginity to his cousin.
“I also didn’t get a word in for the entire date and lots of his chat was clearly lifted from his routine and delivered in an on-stage kinda voice.”
Excuse us while we delete all our dating apps....