Queen Dead, #UsePens, Portland Coup And Other Crazy 2016 Conspiracy Theories

Go away 2016.
Kiratsinh Jadeja via Getty Images

It’s been a special year for conspiracy theories, one in which it has become increasingly difficult to tell the crazy from the genuinely unbelievable things that actually came true in 2016.

While some may wish that Brexit and Trump never really happened, here are five stories that did the rounds that definitely weren’t true.

5) The Fabians is actually a branch of the Illuminati.

The Fabian Society is a Labour think tank that amongst other things, seeks “to improve black, Asian and minority ethnic (BAME) representation”. promote “sustainable development” and a “accountable, tolerant and active democracy”.

The Illuminati is a secret group formed centuries ago intent on establishing a socialist New World Order.

These rather major differences have not been enough to convince many people this year that they are in fact one and the same.

About the Fabians derive from French Rosicrucians who originated in Alexandria (Gnostics), traceable further to ancient Persian Illuminati pic.twitter.com/zyGdgVMrO1

— Omar Zaid, M.D. (@OmarZaidMD) December 11, 2016

Someone's really gonna have to explain this Fabian malevolence to me at some point... https://t.co/2jYP2JIeCf

— Wes Streeting MP (@wesstreeting) July 6, 2016

@wesstreeting ..your"s and your Fabian/Blairite chums days in the Labour Party are numbered #deselectionandgoodriddance

— Pilchard the Cat (@reperioverum) July 6, 2016

Their alleged conspiratorial deeds include manufacturing the refugee crisis in order to further their malevolent agenda.

Seems plausible...

4) The Queen is dead and the media is covering it up so everyone can enjoy New Year’s Eve.

This one happened just this morning.

The hashtag #MediaBlackout was top trend on Twitter as people collectively lost their shit after a fake BBC News account announced the Queen had died.

I just fell for a fake BBC account announcing the death of Queen Elizabeth II because it seemed obvious with this year.

— Christopher Campbell (@thefilmcynic) December 29, 2016

Not content with overwhelming evidence to the contrary, it was then assumed that Her Majesty was dead and the media was covering it up so as not to ruin everyone’s New Year’s Eve frivolities.

One gent even ran to Buckingham Palace to check.

Just did a jet lagged jog to the palace. It's totally quiet, nothing is going on. Silly twitter. #LongLiveTheQueen! #mediablackout pic.twitter.com/L1uqGvwO9X

— Charlie Archer (@1CharlieArcher) December 30, 2016

Obviously.

3) The Queen is still a lizard

An old classic this one but worth revisiting in light of Andrew Neil’s incredible interview with David Icke earlier this year.

"It's not that simple... whole big back story" says @davidicke as @afneil asks about lizards and 9/11 conspiracies https://t.co/D44tzZPJ4C

— BBC This Week (@bbcthisweek) May 19, 2016

He asked Icke: “Do you still think the Royal Family were shape shifting lizards?”

Icke answered firmly: “Yes, I do.”

Neil continued: “You also want us to believe that 9/11 is a conspiracy?”

Again, Icke responded: “Yes.”

The bemused presenter said: “I can see the point that you might question 9/11 but if you also think that Buckingham Palace is inhabited by lizards, it kind of undermines you.”

But Icke defended his views saying: “It’s not that simple. The whole big back story before you get to what I’m saying, if you deliver it in one line - ‘the world is run by reptiles’ - you meet on one level.

“’Oh that’s crazy’, immediate reaction.

“But when you see the back story and the evidence to support this, ancient and modern, you see that one throwaway line in a completely different context.”O.....K.

2) #UsePens

The entire referendum campaign was full to the brim with WTFs.
A placid polling pigeon paddling in a puddle.
A placid polling pigeon paddling in a puddle.
Joe Churcher/PA Archive

There were flotillas, Brexit condoms and rants about bananas, tweets about sniffing dirty socks and not to mention #CatsAgainstBrexit.

But the one thing that proved people had lost the plot was a conspiracy theory that someone would be rubbing out votes cast in favour of leaving the European Union, prompting the hashtag #usepens.

Some people appeared to take the claims seriously...

If voting take a pen, typically you'll be given a pencil meaning your vote could be erased #BrexitOrNot 🇬🇧

— تارا tiara (@TAR_RAR) June 23, 2016

Don't forget your black pens tmoro people #usepens #VoteLeave 💪🏼🇬🇧

— Danielle Chamberlain (@DanChamberlainx) June 22, 2016

Others took it slightly less seriously...

If u plan to #usepens remember MI5 have gallons of tip-ex available. Use oil-based paints where you can.

— Alan White (@aljwhite) June 23, 2016

1) The Portland Communications saga

In June pro-Corbyn website The Canary outlined a series of loose connections and statements made by Portland Communications employees and advisors in a much derided article claiming to be some sort of explosive exclusive.

I've just read it. It's anything but well-researched. Not exactly Sunday Times Insight Team. https://t.co/qvbwQtCT6b

— Andrew Neil (@afneil) July 3, 2016

It claimed the company was orchestrating the coup through Blairite lobbyists with links to power players in the media.

While Corbyn fans avidly shared the piece, it came under much criticism from elsewhere.

The conspiracy reached a nadir when General Secretary of Unite, Len McCluskey, referenced it on the Andrew Marr programme

I think McCluskey just promoted the Portland conspiracy theory... #Marr

— George Eaton (@georgeeaton) July 3, 2016

Writing in the New Statesman, David Singleton said:

The Canary’s strange, yet popular, theory goes like this: Portland was set up by Tony Blair’s former deputy communications chief Tim Allan. On its books are a number of Labour types, many of whom dislike Corbyn and also have links to the Fabian Society. The PR firm also has “countless links to the media” and the BBC recently interviewed a Portland consultant. Err, that’s it.

That Portland Communications stuff is full lizard. Good to know that Len McCluskey is an avid reader of the Canary.

— James Bloodworth (@J_Bloodworth) July 3, 2016

People then began to suggest other things Portland could be behind.

Portland Communications stole my shoe.

— Chris Cook (@xtophercook) July 3, 2016

Account executives at Portland updating their LinkedIn skills to include coups, destabilisation and melting steel beams with jet fuel.

— (((StephenDaisley))) (@JournoStephen) July 3, 2016

What a year.

Close

What's Hot