Mascara is a makeup essential for many ― it’s basically a sport to try to find the best brand that works for you ― but it can also be a clumpy, runny mess.
Whether you can’t help but cry and ruin your lash game or you forget to remove your mascara before going to sleep, just know that you aren’t alone. The funny folks on Twitter have lamented and joked about their experiences with this makeup staple.
Below, we’ve rounded up 26 funny and relatable tweets about mascara. Enjoy!
Shaky is the hand that applies the mascara.
— Nonchalant Charlotte (@jellybnbonanza) October 29, 2019
Just spent minutes putting on mascara. Time to watch a video about a family finding the dog they thought they'd lost in a fire.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) October 17, 2017
Putting on mascara without opening my mouth is on my bucket list
— Just J (@junejuly12) August 15, 2016
If you sneeze directly after applying mascara you're legally allowed to go back to bed.
— Amanda Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) March 2, 2015
Makeup tip: For clump-free application of mascara do not apply mascara.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) May 30, 2014
Waterproof mascara: Because even though you're a strong woman, you just can't predict losing your shit over a song in the bread aisle.
— Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie) July 31, 2012
If you do it right, last night's mascara can totally double as today's smoky eyeliner.
— Northern Lights 🦖🦎🐢 (@PinkCamoTO) March 25, 2015
I love mascara commercials. Everything about this mascara makes ur lashes look thick & great. Including the fake lashes the models r wearin
— Reagan Gomez (@ReaganGomez) April 26, 2010
My mascara smeared into a perfect bruise overnight and I think I'm going to leave it there today for the sympathy stares.
— Amanda Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) January 31, 2014
My mom said she can only wear waterproof mascara and when I asked why she just nonchalantly sipped her beer and said, “Because I cry a lot.”
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) December 21, 2019
My son wanted me to buy him a $3 donut & I was like, “No way! That’s ridiculous for one donut!” & then I proceeded to drive to Ulta to buy one tube of mascara for $26.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) September 9, 2018
Mom math is hard.
I have no beauty regimen other than "When you do mascara at a stoplight, don't forget to do the other eye at the next stoplight."
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) December 7, 2019
Mascara on one eye only cause there were a few too many green lights this morning.
— Just J (@junejuly12) June 21, 2017
Does mascara even work if you don't open your mouth while putting it on?
— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) May 3, 2021
Nothing makes me more bitter than finding out that my favorite mascara has been discontinued. I have nothing further to say. Goodbye.
— Susan Orlean (@susanorlean) February 28, 2020
When you forget you're wearing mascara and you rub your eyes ferociously, resembling a raccoon. This is who I am now.
— Katie Didn't (@Pork_Chop_Hair) July 31, 2017
I don't think I'm emotionally stable enough to be wearing mascara today...
— Marl (@Marlebean) March 18, 2015
I can turn into an exotic animal whenever I want by wearing mascara and having a good cry.
— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) December 29, 2016
Sorry I smacked your face with a rolled up newspaper.
— Marl (@Marlebean) July 15, 2014
Maybe a little less mascara next time... I have arachnophobia.
It's a fine line between "I don't feel like wearing mascara today" and "OMG, when did I start wearing orthopedic shoes?"
— Stabbatha Christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) December 10, 2014
Actually your lower lashes mascara thickness does define you
— Just J (@junejuly12) December 27, 2015
Woke up wide-eyed and bushy-tailed! (meaning I slept in mascara and haven't shaved in weeks ok years)
— JennyPentland GED (@JennyPentland) March 28, 2015
[watching any movie where a dog saves a person]
— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) June 17, 2017
oh no my mascara
MY MOM: Can you believe some people still think Trump's better than Hillary?
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) May 19, 2017
ALSO MY MOM: Maybe if you wore mascara you'd get a promotion.
"I don't make a stupid face when I put my mascara on."
— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) February 22, 2016
And other lies women tell.
If you accidentally poke yourself in the eye with the mascara wand you should be able to go back to bed.
— Amanda Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) July 26, 2018
Now go find a good mascara:
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