Temperatures are dropping below freezing across the country, with winter storms blanketing towns in white. And parents know what that means: sullen teens eschewing overpriced outerwear for grubby hoodies with holes worn into the sleeves, kindergarteners losing mitten number 915 and preschoolers needing to pee just as soon as soon as you’ve fastened their boots over the legs of their snow pants.
Here, some of the funniest parents on X (formerly Twitter) chronicle the ups and downs of braving the cold outdoors with kids.
What I say: Put on a coat, gloves and a hat, because it’s freezing outside, and you could get hypothermia.
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) February 20, 2021
What my kids hear: Please dress for a tropical vacation to Tahiti.
Therapist: The hardest thing in the world is being honest with ourselves
— The Dad (@thedad) January 30, 2023
Me: No, it's trying to zip up your kid's coat when you're in a rush
Therapist: Oh shit, that's a good point
Love that my kids run around like circus monkeys all morning & then turn into sloths on melatonin when it’s time to get shoes & coats on.
— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) February 2, 2018
Me: * buys super expensive name brand snow jacket, that my kid just have to have
— hahahaheater ❄️🌨️☃️ (@dishs_up) December 5, 2022
13: insists on wearing 5 year old , holy , stained hoody.
Ordered new coats for my kids and for convenience I had them shipped directly to their school’s lost and found section
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) September 27, 2023
4yo told me she doesn’t need a coat today, because the teacher has a closet full of BEAUTIFUL ones she gives out. I said those are for kids who don’t have a coat- she does.
— Meg St-Esprit (@MegStEsprit) October 13, 2022
“If you send me without one then I am A KID WITHOUT A COAT MOM.”
Save time sledding with kids by just throwing away one mitten before you even leave the house
— Matty (@bestestname) February 23, 2023
Every middle school has 200 coats in lost and found so we know parents tried to make their kids wear a jacket at least once.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 8, 2022
The time it takes to get your kids ready to play in the snow - 7-10 business days
— Daddy’s Digest (@daddysdigest) January 7, 2022
The amount of time they actually want to play in the snow - 7-10 minutes
an ice cream truck that drives around in the winter selling kids gloves and boots and hats and snow pants and whateverelsetheylost that day
— That Mom Tho 🐦 (@mom_tho) February 16, 2022
Some parents have to wrestle their kids into winter gear and I'm over here with a 4yo that's been wearing snow pants and a winter jacket since he woke up and noticed it snowed.
— Moderately Mom (@moderately_mom) November 7, 2019
Was taking kids out and dressing all the boys warm. The 3 y/o took a single mitten, refused to take the other one. He kept insisting he only needed one, but he wouldn’t wear it.
— Rogue Dad, M.D. (@RogueDadMD) December 12, 2019
It took awhile, but eventually I figured out he was hiding Kit Kat’s inside the mitten.
Just so you know, the middle of your living room floor IS where your kids' coats go. So it hath been decreed by my children.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) January 3, 2019
Parents of junior high school kids: WHY is wearing a coat to school when it’s -13C so “cringe”?
— Tara Bradbury (@tara_bradbury) February 24, 2023
Also probably cringe: parent asking this on Twitter. Or having a Twitter account. Or existing.
My kid heading out to walk to work there with severe weather warning in place for predicted -40C temps tonight: no hat or gloves or warm coat.
— Dominik Diamond (@DominikDiamond) February 3, 2023
"Dad, I'll be fine."
"Let me check your photo ID, son"
"Er... why?"
"To see where it says Chuck Norris on it."
Parenting is such a joy.
I drove my daughter to the bus stop this morning. 8 kids there waiting - 1 with a coat, 1 holding a coat (mine), and 6 kids in hoodies. Welcome to middle school on a cold snowy day.
— Robbyn Glinsmann (@GlinsmannMath) January 9, 2024
My kid wanted to go for a hike, and I brought him a coat because I wanted to spend all afternoon holding a coat and calling “you wouldn’t be cold with this coat on”
— Audrey Burges (@Audrey_Burges) March 20, 2022
Yes, I know it’s cold but my kid won’t wear a coat. I am picking my battles. —a parenting memoir
— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis) November 16, 2021
I watched my husband get the kids ready to go out in the snow and now I know why I'm exhausted and crazy.
— Unremarkable Files (@ThatEvansLady) February 7, 2019
I had no idea how much I would need the skills learned in my high school debate class until I had kids who want to argue daily about why they don't need to wear a coat to school.
— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) May 2, 2019
As I tried to wrangle two kids, three bags, masks, winter coats and a stroller out of the house this morning our neighbor walked by and our four year-old said to him solemnly, “mom is having a hard time this morning.” 🤣🙃
— Sarah Wakeman (@DrSarahWakeman) November 24, 2020
I always laugh to myself when I see a kid in shorts and no coat, walking out of my son's school when it’s 20 degrees out because I know that mom just got tired of bitching at him about "putting on a damn
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) February 18, 2020
coat," and just let him learn a hard life lesson.
Saw this dad on the street the other day with 5 kids. He was tying their shoes, zipping their coats, putting on their hats, and I was like this dude is never gonna get all this done in time. In time for what? I don’t know. But it will not get DONE. IN. TIME.
— Maria DeCotis (@MariaDeCotis) December 23, 2020
KID: I don’t need a coat
— actioncookbook (@actioncookbook) December 11, 2021
ME: baby, it’s cold outside
KID: I don’t think it’s cold
ME: it really is cold outside
KID: I will not be cold
ME: I promise it’s cold outside
[twenty more minutes of arguing]
ME: fine let’s just go
KID: daddy it’s cold outside
Trying to wedge last year’s snow boots on my kids like they are Cinderella’s stepsisters.
— The Dad (@thedad) December 18, 2021
Kid is standing in the snow in his socks emptying the snow out of his boots. Hang on while I make a quick call to Mensa.
— Stephanie Wyeld (@steph_the_twit) March 13, 2018
The look kids give you when you suggest they wear a coat is the same look dads give you when you suggest they ask for directions.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 1, 2021
Lately I’ve been trying this thing where I put on a coat, hat, and gloves before I go outside, and I stay warm. Have you all heard about this? I feel like it could be really popular, but my kids seem to disagree.
— Audrey Burges (@Audrey_Burges) November 15, 2021
Dads will tell a lie about rescuing a kitten from a fire vs. admitting to their kids they also lost their coat
— Dave (@pittdave13) December 4, 2021