It’s hard to surpass the level of creativity that children bring to the English language. In fact, one could argue they often come up with ways to describe things that are far superior to the official terms.
Fortunately for us, many parents document their kids’ funny malapropism and original turns of phrase on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter. Below we’ve rounded up 30 hilarious examples. Enjoy!
My 4-year-old has a tummyache and before she went to bed she asked how you get the egg out of your body, so that’s how I found out she’s spent her whole life thinking we get tummyeggs when we don’t feel well.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) November 1, 2023
Just thinking about how when my son was a toddler, he used to count like this:
— redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 (@RYGdance) October 5, 2023
“8…9…10…I-love-it…12…13…”
When my daughter gets mad she says ocean instead of oh shit and I’m fine with it.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) October 18, 2023
My 6yo calls intrusive thoughts “bad thinks” so henceforth that is what they shall be called.
— Mommeh Thee Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) August 28, 2023
My 4 yo calls cream cheese “scream cheese”. It makes me laugh, but he doesn’t know why it’s funny. And that makes me laugh, too. Kids are honestly the best.
— Jesse Neilson (@JesseNeilson) October 10, 2023
My 4yo just asked for "corn off the bone."
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) October 17, 2023
My besties 5yo calls beyonce “veyonce” and refuses to be corrected. So she veyonce now. The baby has spoken. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
— ✨Glitch McConnell ✨ (@Glamazon1026) September 3, 2023
Just discovered that my 5yo thinks the lyrics are "apple button jeans, boots with the brrr" and then he does a little shiver
— meghan (@deloisivete) November 14, 2023
My 4yo calls cursive writing "scribblewords."
— Josiah Hawthorne (@JosiahHawthorne) September 28, 2023
The 6yo has just informed us that the skin behind your knee (when you bend it) is called your “leg pit”. Plz start saying this immediately. Thank you 😊
— Gaijin Mommy (@GaijinMommy) September 24, 2023
Today the 3yo called yolks “egg cheese” and I’m honestly rethinking everything
— Tired Mom Barbie (@brooklynyeah) October 27, 2023
My mom enjoyed nearly 4 years as Grandma but thanks to my youngest her name is now Bogma
— The Mom Hack (@TheMomHack) October 16, 2023
My kid told me the second line of the “we love preschool” song is “everybody’s having a glass,” and that does sound more fun than “blast”
— meghan (@deloisivete) September 2, 2022
My kid has been singing "blah blah black sheep" all morning, and I like her lyrics better than the actual ones, so I haven't corrected her. She also often says "rainbrella" for umbrella and "bounce-oline" for trampoline, and I can't bear to correct those things either. ❤️
— Laurie Morrison (@LaurieLMorrison) June 4, 2019
Let's start an adorable thread of the things our kids proudly say wrong.
— HomeMaker Megs 🍂🫓🦃 (@mrsmeganeverly) December 22, 2022
I'll go first:
Instead of "Bravo!" Iris declares, with her chest, "GRAMBO!!!!"
My 3yo came home saying he learned how to sit “criss cross pizza sauce” and I just want to know when they changed it from “applesauce.”
— Mumnipotent Ruler (@MumOfTw0) December 4, 2023
My 6yo calls the TV remote the skipper because she uses it to skip to the good parts of her show.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) July 16, 2023
My 4 yo called nipples “booby buttons”
— Kate (@Klassykatee) July 30, 2023
My 8 year-old calls him 'Esteban James' and my 6 year-old thinks it's 'The Brond James' and to be honest I don't feel like correcting either of them.
— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) April 21, 2023
My 5YO calls “predators” “creditors,” and I’ve never heard anything more accurate in my life.
— SkinnyMatt (@skinnymattk) September 15, 2023
My kid forgot what skittles were so he called them fruity m&ms
— Mommeh Thee Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) November 8, 2023
6yo called tornados angry clouds and they shall henceforth be known as such.
— MommyingHard (@MommyingHard) May 29, 2023
The 6yo calls his pediatrician and his dentist the “doctor teacher” and the “dentist teacher” respectively, because bilingualism in young kids is hilarious.
— Gaijin Mommy (@GaijinMommy) October 21, 2023
When my son was little and he’d jump off the jungle gym, instead of yelling "Geronimo!", he’d shout "Home Depot!"
— LLB (@Kohotek71) December 22, 2022
My kid wants to go on vacation to “Frans Sanfisco.” Sometimes you don’t correct their pronunciation. It’s too cute 🥹
— Jennifer Greenberg 🕊️ (@JennMGreenberg) January 10, 2024
The 5 yo calls cicadas “duh-kee-tas” and I have a lot of questions about how she got there.
— Stephanie Copley (@StephCopley) September 14, 2023
The thing about a second child is you’re more acutely aware that things don’t last forever. So you clutch on to things knowing one day they’ll disappear.
— WheatNOil (@WheatNOil) July 15, 2022
Example, I fear the day that 5yo stops calling the plural for toast, “Toastez”
5yo called a chimichanga a "chichimunga" so my day is what better now
— Jimbly X. Hoosgow (@MrBadTakes) February 1, 2023
My 8yo singing Howareyouyeah instead of Hallelujah is the rewrite we all needed.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) January 13, 2024
For whatever reason, our (2yo) kids love grabbing the thesaurus off the bookshelf and "reading" it.
— Andrew Snyder (@Andrewnsnyder) February 13, 2024
Our girl, with complete confidence, randomly started calling it a hippopotamus and I don't have the heart to correct her.