30 Too-Real Tweets About Wedding Dress Shopping

"Been having a hard time finding a wedding dress because I don’t want to look like a cupcake, a mermaid, or a friggin trumpet."

Shopping for a wedding dress can be an exciting and emotional experience that brings up a lot of unexpected feelings and opinions. Perhaps that’s why it makes for such good television.

Amid all the tears of joy and sadness, there are also plenty of opportunities for humour in this matrimonial rite of passage. With that in mind, we’ve rounded up 30 funny and too-real tweets about wedding dress shopping.

Profiles in courage: I went wedding dress shopping the day after thanksgiving

— Dana Schwartz - on hiatus (@DanaSchwartzzz) November 29, 2021

“What a racket,” my mother sighs after wedding dress shopping.

— Sallee Ann (@salleeharrison) April 12, 2019

"Do you have this in size boobier?"
--me, wedding dress shopping

— Leah Charney (@theleahkitten) February 17, 2017

Wedding dress shopping is so much harder than it looks on Say Yes to the Dress. Also, what is this??!?! pic.twitter.com/GiTzYBLrSn

— Kristin Rimbach (@kristinemi) May 1, 2019

i’m scheduled for a wedding dress shopping appointment and the instructions say “we encourage all guests to be 15+ years old and in good health”
what does that even MEAN

— collagen machine broke (@chronicallybeee) April 24, 2024

*Me wedding dress shopping: “it’s really pretty…..but will I be able to do the worm in it???” 🤷🏼♀️

— G. (@Abigail_Hulm21) August 5, 2021

I took an ancestry test and it reminded me of when my cousin took me shopping for her wedding dress. I was just like “oh my god—I had no idea there were so many different shades of white.”

— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) April 8, 2018

Can someone take me wedding dress shopping? Not that I want to help but I just want to get drunk (wasted) in a retail space such as David’s Bridal or the basement of the Anthropologie of walnut and 18th.

— french onion poof (@_MoiMartine_) July 26, 2022

Been having a hard time finding a wedding dress because I don’t want to look like a cupcake, a mermaid, or a friggin trumpet.

— Erin Lampart (@ThatsSoLampy) October 14, 2021

The thing about wedding dress shopping is that my only point of reference is prom dress shopping and my prom dress was from the Twilight Breaking Dawn collection so.

— Eva Palmer (@Eva_Palmer) November 20, 2020

Throwback to me wedding dress shopping alone in midtown thinking nothing of it and at the end the lady gave me a can of champagne which I drank outside sitting on a cement block in Times Square like ...... ok I guess you’re supposed to bring people to wedding dress shop with you

— ham solo (@urgoingnthesoup) December 8, 2020

i can’t believe i get to go wedding dress shopping soon.... all my years of watching say yes to the dress are being put to use

— Maddy (@madelinesmoth) March 22, 2019

I just got an email from kleinfeld’s bridal shop in NYC asking me to verify my appointment.

I made an appointment when I was 14 because I thought I would get married at 21.

where am I

— sam 🦭 (@xoxocherrytop) July 30, 2018

Brides on SYTTD: I want a mermaid sweetheart lace sparkle dress under 20k but I hate these 45 dresses with that exact description so I need the designer to personally design something for me.

Me wedding dress shopping: hello I am getting married in 3 weeks and I have $4

— Topanga's Wario (@spiteysense) July 24, 2019

more embarrassing than wearing old socks to the shoe store is wearing old undies to the bridal boutique

— tma (@mapotato) May 29, 2023

What does one wear to go wedding dress shopping with a friend (aside from a face that says, "I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE!")?

— Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) December 16, 2011

tried on wedding dresses today and 1) it was weird and fun to see myself like that 2) envisioned myself spilling sauce down the front of every single one of them

— Sydney Golic Braunecker (@SydGolic) September 19, 2020

After looking into wedding dresses, I am now on the hunt for a place where I can buy a wedding dress *secretly*. Like, a place that just happens to have beautiful white dresses without the wild markup that comes with calling them wedding dresses

— Liz Gil (@LizCGil) September 4, 2022

I wish I was one of the ppl who like..cried trying on wedding dresses and stuff. I just put them on and make this face and so far that hasn’t helped me choose one!!! pic.twitter.com/mQGu1n7z3R

— Katie Gee (@ktganimation) September 14, 2019

When you go to a wedding dress shop with a bride, are you also allowed to try on just one or two dresses asking for me.

— Ava Eldred (@ava_eldred) October 25, 2018

You know you look young when you walk into a wedding dress shop and they ask if you're there to look at prom dresses 😅

— Sam (@sam_watson3) January 18, 2017

Look, I love a mermaid bridal gown as much as the next human with impeccable taste, but be warned: In such a dress, you WILL be stuck walking like a penguin.

— NYTimes Vows (@NYTvows) March 15, 2024

When I bought my wedding dress a few months ago the store had me ring a little bell. Today I got my braces off and the orthodontist had me hit a little gong. What I'm saying is, this has been my big year for public chiming.

— Summer Block Lizer (@teamblock) June 19, 2019

at the wedding dress store the dresses are all "she" and "her" and they have names ok

— Sarah-Grace Sweeney (@sarahgrace317) December 14, 2013

how do i find a wedding dress that billows in the wind but is also snatched but also isn't like a ballgown but also makes me feel like a frilly cupcake but also is modernly androgynous but is also something i don't have to sew myself I PROMISED I WOULDN'T HURT MYSELF LIKE THAT

— Zen Ren (@zenbyhand) April 11, 2024

a company that just lets you come in and try on wedding dresses when you have no intention of buying one for a long long long time but you still want to get drunk and try on fun dresses

— maybe: clare (@clur19) June 13, 2021

I've decided to follow my dreams and open a wedding dress store. I get to pound vodka and champagne while gabbing with the bride's friends and family as she tries on stock dresses then gaslight the mom into buying the expensive one.

— skanks (@skanks17) July 1, 2024

Everyone keeps an old wedding dress they found at the thrift store for ‘just in case’ emergency wedding scenarios, right?

— MurphyRae (@murphyrae1215) May 2, 2019

i was at my sisters wedding dress fitting the other day and my mom pointed out two dresses and i said “oh i do not like those” and described why i didn’t like them to later find out the designer of those dresses was in the room with us 💀

— bad ghrl bri bri (@chinchlady701) July 31, 2023

I’m going wedding dress shopping this weekend. The boutiques keep asking about what I want and all I’ve got is, “I am 43 and do not want to look like a cupcake. Also, no strapless.” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

— Ellen Claycomb-Salerno (@ellenclaycomb) April 27, 2022
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