Researchers, paediatricians, psychologists, educators and members of the federal legislature all agree: parents should limit children’s screen time.
And it’s not that parents disagree. Most of us would be happy to put in place stricter limits on our kids’ screen use, provided that we’re given a professional child distractor to subdue our children every time we need to prepare food, clean up a sticky mess, do laundry, respond to an email, take a phone call, speak to another human, take any mode of transit or use the bathroom.
Without such help forthcoming, many parents find themselves trapped in an endless cycle of promising to enforce screen time limits, exceeding those limits and then feeling guilty about it.
Here, the witty parents of X (formerly Twitter) describe the process in hilarious detail.
“No screen time under 2” is so funny because it completely ignores people who have more than one child. What am I supposed to do with the baby when the 3yo watches tv? Blindfold her?
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) September 4, 2023
While 3 and 5 were fighting, 5 said, "You treat others the way you want to be treated. That's what the Great King says. The Great King Arthur."
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) August 29, 2020
Don't tell me Youtube screen time isn't educational for kids.
I only give my kid 20 minutes of screen time per day.
— The Dad (@thedad) August 25, 2023
The rest, she takes.
Friend: how much screen time does your kids’ doctor allow?
— Mumnipotent Ruler (@MumOfTw0) June 4, 2024
Me: I was taught not to ask questions I don’t want the answers to.
My daughter told me about a video she watched called how to throw stinky poopy lightbulbs at your neighbors in case you were wondering how closely I monitor her screen time.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) May 16, 2023
new parent: oh we don't believe in screen time
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) June 19, 2021
me: oh really? pic.twitter.com/0wjdAsHgJh
It takes an entire village’s screen time to raise a child
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) October 21, 2020
We are currently doing a screen time detox for the kids. To set a good example, we are doing it too.
— kids_kubed 🇨🇦 (@Kids_kubed) January 13, 2020
I am also currently hiding in the bathroom with a sudden onset of digestive issues that will coincidentally last for a week.
This is how you parent.
just realizing what a disservice it is to limit my kids screen time because they could become influencers and fund the rest of my life
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) November 11, 2020
The parent who declares screen time over assumes full responsibility for occupying the children.
— Royotathon 🚘 (@Royotathon) May 3, 2020
This is non negotiable.
My 9yo let me know today that she is sooo happy she doesn’t have parents that care about her screen time....
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) July 29, 2020
Mom of the year.
My son told me that I need to take a break from work because I'm getting too much screen time, and there is no way I can argue with that.
— Rishus Cold Yetzer (@JustSayXtian) July 16, 2020
Me: We’re going to limit our screen time to the weekends.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 3, 2020
Kid: *crying and screaming*
Me: You know what will make us all feel better? Netflix.
My kid just came to give me a hug and tell me she loved me
— Linda Tirado (@KillerMartinis) May 14, 2020
I said I loved her and that in seven minutes screen time was over
She walks away muttering “well that didn’t work.”
My 4yo just made several accurate comparisons between our family of four and Peppa Pig’s family of four, and now I have a compelling argument for excessive screen time being educational.
— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) May 2, 2020
Oh, you don't let your kids have screen time? That's cool. But, I just ate lunch & took a shower while my kids watched Netflix.
— The Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) May 6, 2018
Those of you who swore you’d never let your kids have screen time, how does it feel to be a liar?
— Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) October 12, 2019
“Looking out the window is the best screen time there is” is now on the list of things I never dreamed I’d say as a parent
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) October 18, 2022
Before having kids I was convinced I wouldn’t give my kids screen time just to get some space. I was wrong. So so wrong.
— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) March 8, 2022
April Fool’s Day but it’s just me telling myself that the kids will have less screen time today
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) April 1, 2022
Just saw a post where new parents holding their newborn were bragging about how they raise their baby with 0 screen time, which is like me bragging at 12:01am that I haven’t had ice cream at all that day
— Robert Komaniecki (@Komaniecki_R) February 10, 2024
Kids’ screen time may or may not have negative effects on child well being but the effects on parent well being are unequivocally positive and statistically significant. This based on my large N (3) household panel study.
— Jason Coupet (@ProfessaJay) May 17, 2022
“Too much screen time isn’t healthy” I tell my daughter as I watch tv while scrolling through my phone
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) September 10, 2022
I've noticed a troubling pattern emerge with my son: the more I cut back his screen time, the more he taunts the other dads at daycare that I can beat them up.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) March 18, 2020
The joy and guilt you feel when you get a chance to relax because your kid is being consumed by screen time
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) January 23, 2023
How it feels punishing the kids by taking away screen time pic.twitter.com/QUBEXZD4c7
— The Dad (@thedad) September 22, 2021
I am not a “do as I say not as I do” mom. But I am a “give my kids extra screen time so they don’t see me eat that bowl of cereal thirty minutes before dinner and ask for one too” mom.
— Annie Morgan (@annie_m_morgan) December 15, 2023
Mom A at the park: We allow 1 hour of screen time a week
— OyVeyLady (@OyVeyLady) May 17, 2022
Mom B: We are a screen-free home
Me: My daughter named her new doll PBS Kids Dot Org
My 9yo wrote vinegar on the grocery list. I was suspicious so I asked her why. She planned to clean the hard water stains off the bathroom faucet. I asked her where she learned about that. “YouTube,” she shrugged.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) January 31, 2021
Whomever said screen time is bad for kids is a goddamn liar.
I’m the type of mom that won’t take away screen time for a consequence bc I know the only person who‘s going to truly suffer if my kids have to live without screens is ME.
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) January 15, 2021
Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) February 23, 2023
Oh, your kid doesn’t have more than 30 minutes of screen time a day?
— Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) December 26, 2020
Cool cool.
Mine props her iPad against the back of my legs as soon as I get up to brush my teeth in the morning, so I’m basically a living, breathing iPad stand.
My 4yo thanked her fans for the lovely birthday wishes and suggested that we hit the subscribe button after we sang happy birthday to her.
— hahahaheater ❄️🌨️☃️ (@dishs_up) January 15, 2021
Come to me for helpful tips on limiting screen time!
90% of parenting is answering the question “can we have screen time”, the other 10% is spent making up facts about parenting
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) July 4, 2022