If you’re the parent of a school-aged child, there will inevitably come a moment when they ask for help with a school project — bonus points if this happens the night before said project is due.
Do you zoom off to the crafts store in search of supplies? Give them a lecture about responsibility? Roll up your sleeves and grab a Pritt stick? Sigh dramatically and pour yourself a glass of wine?
The funny parents of Twitter (formerly X) have been there, done that and are here to tell you about it. Read the hilarity below:
It wouldn’t be a Monday morning without my kid putting me in an absolute frenzy bc I don’t own magazines and they need magazines for a class project which I found out about 10 minutes before school started.
— yelisa (@beingyelisa) April 12, 2021
Kid: Hey dad, can you help me with this project?
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) November 22, 2019
The Rock: Sure sweetie. What do you have to do?
Kid: Make a paper-mâché model-
The Rock: [Screams]
I'm a jerk, but not a "teacher giving kids projects to do over the last few days of school," kind of jerk.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 12, 2022
I just spent the last 3 hours searching every craft store within a 10 mile radius looking for polar bears for a school project.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 17, 2018
I better get an A+ or a bottle of wine.
Let’s get married and have kids so instead of having a margarita on a patio you can work on the trifold board project and I can help with Geometry homework and we can burn the dinner they probably weren’t going to like anyway.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 25, 2021
My son said he hates group projects. He was telling me how he did all the work on his recent project while the kid he worked with just braided pipe cleaners. He doesn't know how real he is for this.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) January 31, 2024
I baked some cookies to bribe my 9yo to do his winter school project but now he’s eating the cookies while I do the project if you’re wondering who’s the mastermind around here.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) January 4, 2024
Talking with 5 about what she wants to bring for her 100 day project.
— Shematologist, MD (@acweyand) February 1, 2022
(kids bring in 100 of something on the 100th day of school)
I mention a bunch of options
5: I guess we can’t really bring boulders right?
Thoughts and prayers for my son who told me the star was “a little off” on the flag I’m drawing for his f’ing project.
— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) September 29, 2023
12-year-old: *holds up a poster* This is my school project.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 17, 2023
Me: What was your objective?
12: To be done with my school project.
Nailed it.
Some questions in life you don't even need to ask. Like when your child tells you they need to go to the store at 8pm to get stuff for a project.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) November 6, 2019
You know 1) they've known about it for three weeks and 2) it's due tomorrow.
Schools: Been a rough year, we’ll make it easier on the parents
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) May 22, 2023
Also schools: Science projects, year end performances and all the fund raising galas will be held on the lucky numbers from your fortune cookie
Excuse me while I rage print my child's baby pictures for a project "they" have to complete by tomorrow.
— Stephanie Wyeld (@steph_the_twit) April 25, 2019
My kid just told me she has a project due tomorrow so I’m helping her the same way I did it when I was her age (I’m calling my mom)
— The Dad (@thedad) November 22, 2023
Ugh! My 9-year-old keeps trying to help me with her school project.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 17, 2021
As if the emotional load wasn’t enough, I just got asked if I can remove and save googeley eyes from all the preschool projects before I toss them, and give them back to the school.
— Meg St-Esprit (@MegStEsprit) May 9, 2022
13yo: we’re doing a project in health class where we design a menu for a healthy restaurant
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) January 19, 2024
Me: oh yeah?
13yo: yeah and I’m gonna call mine the Pasta Palace
Me: what about the Pasta Palazzo?
13yo, witheringly: no, mom, that sounds silly
it wouldn’t be a morning if i wasn’t rushing around slapping together an art project together my kids forgot about while trying to feed them and brush their hair and shoving them out the door with the sweet sentiment of “YOURE HAVING SCHOOL LUNCH TODAY”
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) April 21, 2023
There is a thriving black market of crafters who will do those annoying school projects for you. Don’t ask me how I know.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) February 5, 2023
Psyched to see my kid’s presentation at school so I can check out all the projects the parents did.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) May 22, 2023
The delicate art of discarding your child’s numerous school worksheets and art projects without them noticing
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) January 14, 2024
today i'm going to show you how to craft your child's school project in 15 minutes using all those empty kleenex boxes and vodka bottles you have laying around the house
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) June 17, 2021
The gift of the magi but it’s my teen just now telling me about a huge project that’s due tomorrow
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) December 13, 2023
My kid came home with a school project covered in glitter in his backpack, what a nice way for the teacher to say, “Fuck you his mom!”
— redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 (@RYGdance) January 15, 2022
My 5th grader was assigned a paper about overcoming adversity. She wrote about the time I helped her with a science project and “made it worse.”
— The Dad (@thedad) October 5, 2023
Back from a 2nd grade science fair, some projects sucked. Some parents definitely need extra classes
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) June 6, 2023
The first step in the scientific method when helping your kid with a science project is identifying the problem - which has been determined to be I’m helping my kid with their science project
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) September 14, 2020
Here’s a little song I wrote about kids during the school year it’s called “Hey I Know it’s 8 PM but I Need a Tri-Fold Poster Board for a Project That is Due Tomorrow” and a one and a two
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) May 29, 2019
*me talking to my 4-year old about her preschool art project but I just finished watching an episode of Succession* You’ve gotta think about the optics if you hand this in
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) May 23, 2023
Every craft store needs an aisle labeled So Your Child Has a School Project Due Tomorrow.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 19, 2023
My kid is mad because he has the “worst crafts project in the class.” That’s what he gets for making me do it.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) February 17, 2023
My wife and I are going to be super bummed if we don’t get a good grade on our daughter’s science fair project.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 11, 2022
Life is about balance. So, if I'm going to be exhausted from helping my kid with this art project, my glittery beard will still make me look fabulous, dammit.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) March 24, 2022
Still cleaning up glitter from my 5yo’s school project.
— Bart (@bartandsoul) May 10, 2018
She turns 15 on Sunday.