One of the eternal truths about sex is that we all do it a little differently, and have different relationships with bedroom antics.
However, this Pride month, the sexperts at Beducated have shared that they believe that heterosexual folks could learn a lot about sex and intimacy from their queer counterparts.
Given that heterosexual women orgasm less than LGBTQ+ women, we reckon that there are definitely some essential insights we could all learn from.
What straight people can learn from queer sex
There is no ‘right way’ to have sex
While a lot of us feel pressure to perform well in the bedroom and get it ‘right’ when it comes to sex, there’s actually no wrong way to have sex and orgasms can come (pun intended) without any penetration.
Beducated CEO Mariah Freya said: “There is this outdated misconception that sex is only complete when there is penetration involved. That can be a problem because it makes penetration the main event.
“However, we know that people with vulvas require more than just penis-in-vagina action to reach an orgasm.”
Your gender doesn’t define whether you’re submissive or dominant
While there is no gender behind these roles, society often imposes rigid gender roles in sexual dynamics, expecting straight men to be dominant and straight women to be submissive. Queer sex challenges these norms.
Freya said: “Why let gender define how we express ourselves in the bedroom? Instead, think about the role you find most pleasurable, expectations be damned.”
Toys and gadgets are your friends, not foes
Sex toys and accessories are not just for replacing body parts; they can enhance sexual experiences significantly and bring a whole lot of fun to the bedroom.
Freya said: “Lesbian folks are often asked, ‘Don’t you miss dick?’ Cringe aside, sex sans penis doesn’t mean you have to skip the penetration — there are dildos for that.
“Beyond replacing body parts, toys, lubes and accessories can elevate sex to a whole new level.”
Outdated prejudices limit your pleasure potential
Freya said: “People with penises are blessed with this small gland called a prostate, which has the potential to lead to next-level orgasms. For some ridiculous reason, we’ve decided as a society to completely ignore it because prostate stimulation involves getting close to – gasp – the anal region.
“Imagine having something that powerful, and not using it because of prejudice. The world is upside down.”
There is no magical secret to orgasms, just knowledge
Though the orgasm gap between straight and queer women is a real thing, it really doesn’t have to be, and Beducated believe the only difference is a knowledge gap.
Freya said: “You don’t need to have a vulva to know how to turn one on; all you need to do is educate yourself.
“Getting familiar with vulva anatomy means you can find the G-Spot and cervix, for example. Sure, clitoral stimulation is great, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. The same goes for male body anatomy – you want to know where the perineum is, or how to approach hand jobs when your partner is (or isn’t) circumcised.”