The fear of being killed by the Taliban followed Ahmed* like an unwanted shadow during the three-month journey from Kabul to the UK.
He was one of the Afghans left behind when foreign troops withdrew from Afghanistan, leaving the Taliban in power after 20 years.
The long journey to escape Afghanistan felt like it could be over at any moment along the way.
An inappropriate glance at a Taliban soldier, a doubt over his documents at a checkpoint, the wrong choice of clothes that could give away his identity, every step towards safety was filled with uncertainty.
What made things harder for Ahmed was looking after his sick wife and trying to feed his two children under the age of 10.
Finding food and water became a burden, not only because of the danger of being spotted if he left the safety of their accommodation, but also because the prices of basic necessities like water skyrocketed amid the desperation of Afghans leaving their homes with nothing.
This is Ahmed’s journey.
*his real name is being protected for his safety.
Life in Kabul
Ahmed arrived in Kabul in August and was approved to come to the UK under the Afghan Relocations and Assistance Policy (ARAP).
Chaos at Kabul Airport meant him and his family were unable to catch their flight.
He was one of thousands of Afghans pleading for more help to get out. Recent claims by a whistleblower say Afghans were “left to die” without enough support from the British government.
“Sometimes I wake up at 1:00am, sometimes at 5:00 am,” Ahmed says from his room in Kabul. “All the time I feel like I’m living a nightmare.”
Kabul to the Pakistan border
Ahmed was told by the government he couldn’t be helped while he was in Afghanistan so he had to make his own way out of the country.
“At that time, there weren’t any embassies or consuls open so I had to find someone for lots of money to get Pakistan visas for me, my wife and two kids.”
He found a driver who agreed to take them to the Pakistan border but even this agreement cast doubt for Ahmed.
“I was scared he [the driver] could take us anywhere.”
“We did not believe him easily because there was a 100% chance he could hand us over to the Taliban.”
Ahmed was scared because he says the people trying to leave Afghanistan once the Taliban took over were mostly those who worked with foreign organisations or who were high officials of the Afghan government. And the Taliban were well aware of this.
It was a 3 hour drive with over a dozen Taliban checkpoints that cost him over 10 times the amount it would usually cost for that route.
“The most difficult part for us, and for everyone who wants to leave Afghanistan, is the Taliban’s checkpoints. They are searching for anyone who worked with foreign organisations.”
When they were stopped a checkpoints, the Taliban would go through their bags and belongings looking for anything to give away their identity.
Crossing the Pakistan border
The distance to cross the border is one kilometre but it took Ahmed and his family three days.
Ahmed had his two young kids in his arms and a single bag with all their belongings. It had some clothes for each of them, some nappies, a biscuit or two, and a bottle of water that cost 10 times more than usual.
“There were a lot of crowds and there was nothing to eat.
“I can manage myself to be thirsty and to be angry but I can’t let my kids and my wife go through that.”
He says it was a “very dusty day” and the “sun was shining but it wasn’t hot”.
“My wife was not feeling well and my two kids were crying. The Taliban were hitting us with sticks to make a queue. It was really difficult.”
The crowds were due to people wanting to leave without official documents to do so.
He thought it would be “impossible” to cross the border.
He heard from others that Pakistan officials were rejecting people due to “fake” visas and feared this could happen to him.
“Due to lots of rushing, the guard looked at me and asked me ‘why are you going to Pakistan?’ I told him my wife is really sick and we didn’t find any doctor here so I have to go to the hospital for a medical checkup because if we leave her here she will lose her life. He looked at my kids and wife and told me ‘okay go’.”
When they managed to cross the border, Ahmed’s wife was “in shock”.
Life in Pakistan
“When we crossed to the Pakistan side, they treated us like prisoners just like when we were in Afghanistan. They thought anyone crossing were officials from the last Afghan government.
“They also demanded money from us.”
Ahmed says he was “really afraid” but also “excited” because he passed through without anyone recognising him.
He felt a glimpse of safety having finally left Afghanistan but he still wasn’t in the clear.
Him and his family had help from the British High Commission in Pakistan in finding accommodation, although they weren’t allowed to leave.
They spent two weeks in Pakistan before finally boarding a flight to come to the UK.
Getting to the UK
When Ahmed stepped off the plane he says he felt “safe” and was so “happy” to finally be feeling this.
One thing that didn’t change was his worry about the Taliban.
“In Afghanistan, I couldn’t really sleep because I was worried the Taliban will come and kill me or my family members, or take me to prison. Now when I think about this, no one can answer me about their safety.”
One of his children has also been having trouble with the resettlement and has been biting their lips due to “stress”.
“We were from a giant family back home so they miss their grandparents. Still now when we talk about them they miss them and cry.”
Ahmed is thankful that his family can look forward to their future. His main priority now is being able to start working again.
“Everything is new here. Life in Afghanistan and the UK is very different.”
“For the Afghans who are coming here, does the UK government have any programme for us? I know English but there are lots of people who do not know English so it is difficult.”
He wants the government to set up a programme to make it easier for Afghans resettling in the UK to get used to British society and culture, and find their way back into work.
A government spokesperson says they’re continuing to help those in Afghanistan who are eligible to come to the UK under the ARAP scheme to do so.
“We are now updating the ARAP Immigration Rules to make clear who is eligible to apply under the scheme, enable more families to remain together, and offer support to those who need it most.”
For more details on applying for the ARAP scheme, click here.
If you are an asylum seeker or refugee and need advice, the UK government suggests trying these helplines.
The British Red Cross also suggest further helplines here.
The BuzzFeed Afghanistan Relief Fund
HuffPost and BuzzFeed are committed to leveraging our platforms to support the people of Afghanistan. The BuzzFeed Afghanistan Relief Fund supports a variety of organisations providing basic necessities, education and protection to displaced and at-risk Afghans, including Afghan journalists.
If you’re able, please donate here.