'The Apprentice' 2018: These Parodies Of The Contestants' Introductory One-Liners Have Us Howling

"I'll be honest, I don't eat sleep, and breathe business but I do eat, sleep and breathe."

The contestants appearing on this year’s series of ‘The Apprentice’ have now been announced, which can mean only one thing: we’ve been treated to a plethora of cringey introductory quotes.

Among the new one-liners are comparisons to the Duracell bunny, ‘The Wolf Of Wall Street’ and a caffeinated Willy Wonka, while phrases like “I’m a serious mumpreneur”, “I ain’t no Vanilla Camilla” and “call me ‘Google’, it’s my middle name” have all been thrown around as the newbies try to make a strong first impression.

And despite these introductions being among the most toe-curling in 13 years of ‘The Apprentice’, that hasn’t stopped fans of the show on Twitter photoshopping the contestants’ bios to make their introductions even more embarrassing.

Here’s a round-up of some of our favourites, starting with the most believable slowly leading into the more surreal offerings...

Definitely a finalist #TheApprentice pic.twitter.com/MJ1agjC110

— Drivelcast (@drivelcast) September 25, 2018

Turns out making fake quotes for #TheApprentice is pretty fun pic.twitter.com/GubRk4JcMh

— 𝖈𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖚𝖒 (@calkeohane) September 25, 2018

Tom's my favourite to win. #TheApprentice pic.twitter.com/xyD08yB3Om

— GRGChris (@bobbybalmoral) September 25, 2018

Great to have The Apprentice back pic.twitter.com/sslzd6kzrw

— rick (@rickburin) September 25, 2018

Some of the contestants on the new series of #TheApprentice look awesome pic.twitter.com/8B0HKhiEeD

— joe heenan (@joeheenan) September 25, 2018

Really excited for the new season of #TheApprentice, quite the cast of characters they’ve got! pic.twitter.com/2K7I3I4ewE

— Expecting Hamish? Think again. (@HamishWoodhouse) September 25, 2018

Genuinely can't wait for this year's #TheApprentice, especially with fantastic candidates who produce quotes like these. pic.twitter.com/DuvRdWfKGJ

— King Schmo (@king_schmo) September 25, 2018

The new series of #TheApprentice looks a bit full on. pic.twitter.com/NDgg8yPsBm

— David Llewellyn (@TheDaiLlew) September 25, 2018

I swear the contestants on The Apprentice get worse every year. pic.twitter.com/ZgXVHlBxEe

— Jack Tindale (@JackTindale) September 25, 2018

I must say, the new season of #TheApprentice looks terrific. pic.twitter.com/p7ysNK6AgU

— Dan Rebellato (@DanRebellato) September 25, 2018

And, of course, then the brands chimed in...

This guy looks alright. #TheApprentice pic.twitter.com/w1S5fXbVzx

— Rebellion (@Rebellion) September 25, 2018

These candidates mean business #TheApprentice pic.twitter.com/zLlRjgEbT3

— innocent drinks (@innocent) September 25, 2018

"We've all been fired before"... #TheApprentice pic.twitter.com/Dr036k28yH

— Prime Video UK (@primevideouk) September 25, 2018

Yeah, we’re not convinced about that last one, in all honesty...

Lord Sugar and his advisors, Claude Littner and Karren Brady, will be back for a brand new series of ‘The Apprentice’ next week, with a special challenge that takes the 16 newcomers overseas.

Find out more about the new crop of contestants here.

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