One situation that is certain to try the patience of any parent is soon to be upon us: travelling in the car, with your kids, at Christmas.
There will be traffic jams, there will be tailbacks, there will be “I need a wee!” and “Are we there, yet?”. There will be a lot of swearing, under your breath, particularly when the best Google Maps can come up with is: “Traffic is heavy on this route”, without suggesting an alternative.
For years I’ve been practising to get the Christmas car journey down to a fine art – and I thought I had it nailed. I’d wait until bedtime, give my two kids dinner, bathe them and pop them into their pyjamas, then strap them in the car.
Both kids would fall asleep almost instantly on the long drive to visit their grandparents. Until... now. Because now, they’re a little older (albeit still three, and seven), and suddenly my tried-and-tested technique no longer works.
I’ve had to adapt. It’s hard – and it mostly involves screentime, I’m not ashamed to admit. (If you’re a parent who manages to survive without screentime, you are a better parent than me).
Here are five tips for surviving a long drive with young kids.
1. Drive at night
I know, I know, I just admitted this no longer works for me. Now, my three-year-old gets so excited about the chance to watch Hey Duggee or play a game on our battered old family iPad, that the days when he’d drift gently off to sleep are long-gone.
But it’s worth a try if your kids are a little younger. Do your normal bedtime routine, whack them in their PJs and strap them into their car seats with a cuddly toy and cosy blanket. Then pray for sleep. If it works, it’ll make the long drive a thousand times quieter and more pleasant.
2. Relax rules on screentime
If I’m doing a two-hour drive with my kids and they’re happily absorbed in watching something appropriate for their age, or playing a game on the iPad, I’m all for it.
We’ve read that screentime can be bad for young children – but it is Christmas, after all. You can relax the rules a little and set limits, such as giving them an hour to watch something, before trying another game to keep them entertained.
3. Listen to an audio book
It took me a while, but I recently cottoned on to an absolute banger of an idea: audio books, for kids. My three-year-old is obsessed with the Roald Dahl collection, specifically The Enormous Crocodile. Press play and marvel at the fact it’s as captivating as TV (and you don’t have to worry about screens).
4. Play simple, but fun, games
Yes, I know, I sigh inwardly when my three-year-old asks if we can play ‘eye spy’, too – because I know he won’t have chosen anything remotely relevant to what he can see around him. But hey, you’ve got a few hours to kill, ‘eye spy’ is going to happen and you need to accept it.
If you really can’t bear it, here are a few alternatives I’ve tried.
1. Finish the sentence: My kids and I play a game where one of us begins a line from a made-up story, and cuts off after a couple of sentences – then the next person picks up the thread of the plot. It’s pretty fun.
2. Story time: Or, entertain your children (or bore them to sleep) with a first-person, made-up story. Psst: here are seven easy tips on making up a good yarn for your kids.
3. Ridiculous rhymes: We have also spent hours making up silly endings to Michael Rosen’s poem ‘Down Behind The Dustbin’ in the car before. The poem starts: “Down behind the dustbin, I met a dog called Ted. ‘Leave me alone,’ he says, ‘I’m just going to bed.’” Change the first name from Ted to whatever you like, and make sure the last word rhymes with it – such as “Boo” and “the loo”. Hours of fun.
5. Create a treasure trove of snacks
Two words: snack boxes. Filled to burst with healthy (and some not-so-healthy; for it is Christmas, after all) treats. Try fruit, sandwiches, water, flapjacks or oat bars. Small boxes of raisins are a winner, as are things that seem like treats, but are reasonably healthy, like yoghurt-covered fruit flakes. The smaller the treat, the better... that way, it’ll take your child even longer to work their way through it all.
You’re welcome. Drive safe.