In the world of dating, you go through many stages.
Hot girl summer, wading through f*ckboys, the few months where you swear off dating forever – we’ve done them all.
But there is one stage currently going viral on TikTok that has besmirched the name of all Bens everywhere — the ‘Ben Stage’.
It all started when TikTok user @iamgubste posted a video on the social media platform, implying that if you’ve gone through your ‘Ben stage’, well, “you’d better run.”
The video has since raked up a massive 1.4 millions likes and in amongst the whopping 71.1k comments left on it, it’s clear many of us have been through a ‘Ben stage’.
“My Ben stage left me in therapy”, wrote one TikTok user.
“My dad’s name is Ben… he’s on his third wife,” added another.
But many others were left totally baffled - so what exactly is the Ben stage?
What is the ‘Ben Stage’?
According to sex and relationships expert at condoms.uk Pippa Murphy, this trend is being used by people to flag negative experiences surrounding a “Ben” in the past, while also warning others to not fall for the same type of guy.
“Whilst it’s not specifically about dating a person called Ben (although a lot of women are sharing their negative experiences of dating a person with this name), it’s more about leaving a relationship and realising your self-worth and growth afterwards,” she said.
However, a lot of innocent Bens have been caught in the crossfire of this trend, with one such Ben posting his reaction to the video by, well, looking very sad.
A few Bens have had their reactions posted by their partners, where they can be seen jokingly outraged by the claims of the video.
Why do we associate certain names with negative dating experiences?
Apparently, it’s due to our confirmation bias.
“We have a tendency to look for patterns in the world around us. It’s a way of using our past experiences to confirm the things we already believe to be true,” says Pippa.
“In the case of dating, a lot of people are concerned with finding out whether someone has a ‘bad’ name before they go on a date with them.
“If you’ve ever been hurt by someone with a certain name before, then your brain will automatically look for more clues that confirm your beliefs about them being bad. And if you’ve never been hurt by someone with that name before, your brain will still look for clues that confirm their goodness (which may also mean you’re more likely to overlook any red flags),” she adds.
Well, if you’ve got a partner whose name is Ben, you’ve been warned.