Bess Kalb, Jimmy Kimmel Live Writer, Is The Best Thing In Donald Trump's Twitter Mentions

Bravo Bess Kalb, bravo.
Bess Kalb (speaking at lectern) and fellow writers accept the 2016 Writers Guild Awards Comedy/Variety Specials award for 'Jimmy Kimmel Live: 10th Annual After The Oscars Special'.
Bess Kalb (speaking at lectern) and fellow writers accept the 2016 Writers Guild Awards Comedy/Variety Specials award for 'Jimmy Kimmel Live: 10th Annual After The Oscars Special'.
Alberto E. Rodriguez via Getty Images

Bess Kalb is a journalist and writer for the Jimmy Kimmel Live! show.

She is also without doubt the best thing to regularly appear in Donald Trump’s Twitter mentions.

While the President-Elect’s supporters appear to have a penchant for selling mugs and posting evidence of their purchase...

@lanni4tamms HAHA reading this while sipping coffee frm TRUMP TANK mug 😉> https://t.co/CBKBP3uytR Trump WON THRICE! Keep 😭😭 libs pic.twitter.com/EY6gL4rxj1

— Bruno (@utmadSA) January 4, 2017

@utmadSA By the way here is my receipt pic.twitter.com/ghCurZx5zk

— Bruno (@utmadSA) January 4, 2017

Kalb has been calmly, methodically and hilariously responding to almost every Trump tweet since November.

Serious voter fraud in Virginia, New Hampshire and California - so why isn't the media reporting on this? Serious bias - big problem!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 28, 2016

.@realDonaldTrump Sweetie, you're having one of your episodes and we have to get this under control before your first day of Presidenting.

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) November 28, 2016

My tweet was so mean I'm now the Secretary of Transportation!!!

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) November 28, 2016

China has been taking out massive amounts of money & wealth from the U.S. in totally one-sided trade, but won't help with North Korea. Nice!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 2, 2017

.@realDonaldTrump Sweetie, we understand you just learned some information about Asia, and that's exciting, but this isn't very coherent.

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) January 2, 2017

.@realDonaldTrump When your foreign policy takes are "Won't happen!" and "Nice!" you sound less Presidenty and more like a novice, angel.

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) January 2, 2017

President Obama campaigned hard (and personally) in the very important swing states, and lost.The voters wanted to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 27, 2016

.@realDonaldTrump Honey honey shhhh. It's over. You did it, baby. You have to be President now. Stop catastrophizing into imaginary spirals.

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) December 27, 2016

.@realDonaldTrump They want to make America great again and they want you calm yourself and get some good rest.

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) December 27, 2016

.@realDonaldTrump I can tell you still have the map out.

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) December 27, 2016

Obviously this hasn’t gone down too well with Trump’s supporters.

@bessbell @realDonaldTrump You're really just demeaning yourself at this point. What are you doing that's politically constructive?

— James Olliver (@ElectTrump16) January 4, 2017

@bessbell @realDonaldTrump

You're obsessed with Trump, aren't you? You want him to sleep with you!?#BoycottKimmel

— Whitey McPrivilege (@Trevor90666770) January 4, 2017

Fortunately, Kalb often has a more than appropriate reply, as evidenced by this absolute gem to a tweet suggesting her profile picture pose was the result of her hand getting stuck to her face during a sexual encounter.

@Helms6Brad @realDonaldTrump That's really implausible with drying time and how still I'd have to sit.

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) January 4, 2017

@Helms6Brad @realDonaldTrump Let's say the ejaculate took 6 minutes to dry. My hand would still have to only weigh about an ounce to adhere.

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) January 4, 2017

@Helms6Brad @realDonaldTrump Plus, the sheer weight of my arm would pull it down with little if any torque needed.

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) January 4, 2017

@Helms6Brad @realDonaldTrump If my elbow were resting on my knee and my hand weighed < 28 grams and I remained still for ≈ 6 minutes, fine.

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) January 4, 2017

@bessbell this is the best own I've ever seen on this website

— Jesse Berney (@jesseberney) January 4, 2017

Glorious. Check out her Twitter feed for many more.

Obviously, Trump’s Twitter feed has been an endless source of amusement for many weeks now.

A few days ago he dashed off a New Year’s message bereft of the spirit of harmony that usually marks the season.

While Barack Obama looked to a future where “all of us deserve every chance to live out our dreams” in his final year end address, his successor struck a blunter tone:

Happy New Year to all, including to my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don't know what to do. Love!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 31, 2016

Which was swiftly corrected.

@realDonaldTrump I fixed it for you, bro. pic.twitter.com/hLw1N3bfjZ

— Olgun Uluc (@OlgunUluc) December 31, 2016

Then there was an astounding tweet sent at the end of last year in which the soon-to-be most powerful man in the world thanked himself.

The U.S. Consumer Confidence Index for December surged nearly four points to 113.7, THE HIGHEST LEVEL IN MORE THAN 15 YEARS! Thanks Donald!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 28, 2016

@realDonaldTrump Did you seriously just thank yourself in a tweet from your own Twitter account?

— Mark Pygas (@MarkPygas) December 28, 2016

Umm Donald? Which Donald are you referring to? You're Donald, Donald. Only narcissistic illiterates refer to themselves in the 3rd person. https://t.co/ffxosT49cX

— Jonathan Pie (@JonathanPieNews) December 28, 2016

@simonhedlin @realDonaldTrump Dude is talking to himself in the third person.

— Justin Hendrix (@justinhendrix) December 28, 2016

Stay tuned folks, there’ll be plenty more where that came from.

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