In HuffPost Birth Diaries we hear the extraordinary stories of the everyday miracle of birth. This week, Lou Jones shares her story. If you’d like to share yours, email amy.packham@huffpost.com.
Anyone who knows me well, knows exactly what I’m like: a real worrier. I’ve had to really work on it over the years, and it’s taken a while, but I feel like I have a positive story to share – especially when it comes to childbirth. Before I even had kids, there would be moments where I’d question myself and my abilities. Can I even do this? Can I cope with pregnancy, let alone deal with birth? And what about being a mum?
I went through three pregnancies and had positive experiences, but for some reason, I was beyond anxious about my fourth birth. We’d recently moved back from overseas to a new area. I was still working, had no family support nearby, but severe morning sickness, which was horrendous with little ones.
Plus, I had three healthy children – was I pushing my luck having another? What if something went wrong? I’d been so lucky, after all. It got to the point where I even discussed having a planned C-section with my midwife because I was so anxious, but she convinced me otherwise.
Instead, I had to do what I could to overcome the worry. So I did.
I started going to weekly prenatal yoga classes, which were amazing – I can’t tell you how much learning different ways to breathe can make a difference to your mindset. I did hypnobirthing, and I also took time out to do little things to boost my health and happiness. It sounds silly, but keeping hydrated was important to me, as well as having normal meals – sometimes as a mum of three, these things can be hard to keep on top of.
I booked a massage in before the birth with a midwife trained in massages to help me relax and focus on the positives. And I did positive affirmations.
My midwife knew I was anxious. She suggested I write a letter that would go in my notes explaining how I felt, so that when I went into labour it would explain how nervous I was feeling and to bear that in mind. That really helped.
I’d been having a lot of Braxton Hicks in the weeks leading up to my birth, which is apparently common if you have more than one baby. Then, one night, at 3am, I was woken by strong contractions. I wasn’t sure if this was the real thing.
I woke up my husband, still not sure whether it was labour, and we agreed to see how it went. The sensations grew stronger as I laid in bed for the next half an hour. I didn’t know if this was it, but I felt calm. Strangely calm. I decided to call the labour ward to be on the safe side, telling them I wasn’t sure if I was actually in labour. They told me to get up and ready to come in anyway for a check-up.
As soon as I got up, that was it. I felt the pressure of the head. “We need to go!” I told my husband. I didn’t think I was going to make it, but on the drive to the hospital it was like my body knew I had to hold on.
The contractions kind of... stopped.
When we got into the labour triage ward, I felt unusually calm – but I knew I was about to give birth. There was no hanging around here. The woman suggested she do some observations first, before examining me, but I told her she should probably go straight to the examination. “You’re too calm to be that far along,” she said. But I knew I was on the verge of pushing.
She examined me, and I was fully dilated. “Oh my god,” she said. As we hurried down the corridor, the women on reception were shocked. “There’s no way you are fully dilated and about to have a baby!” they joked to me.
The moment we got into the birthing suite, I had more contractions. As I stood there in the middle of the room, they put mats under me on the floor, thinking I was going to give birth there and then. But somehow I managed to get on the bed, leaned against the headboard on all fours and within five minutes she was born.
Relief. That was what I felt. And amazement, that it was over and my baby was here. I was on a massive high as I turned around and they passed her to me, snuggled onto my chest. I had the most magical moments with her, then. Honestly, I have to tell myself not to have another baby when I think of those moments – they only last a few minutes, but they are just so special.\
A few minutes later, the midwife who had been with me throughout my pregnancy walked in, as I lay there with my baby on my chest in blankets. And I was so happy to see her. She knew what I’d been though in my pregnancy, and she was so proud of me. And while I was annoyed at myself for spending so much of my pregnancy anxious about this moment, I was proud of me too.
My birth advice?
Your body does know what to do. If you have faith in it, let it do what it needs to. It sounds airy fairy, I’m not like that, but it’s so true. It’s a mighty force when it happens. I honestly feel privileged to have experience it.