I like women. Mmmmmmmmmm, women. Much like their hairier male counterparts, they come in all shapes and sizes, like a lovely fragrant smorgasbord. Interestingly though (here's something to make you spit out your coffee and point incredulously at the screen, then remember you are at work and not supposed to be reading the Huffington Post, so subsequently pretend to have received an utterly earth shattering email from Alan in HR) they also have different characters! Yeah, that's right, women have different characters! All this time I've been watching TV and thinking all women either like to idiotically lust over ice creams, save money in supermarkets or brilliantly solve crimes whilst wearing a lovely jumper. Well, apparently we have been misled and, according to my wife, there is much more variation in the female of the species than we have been led to believe.
And it's not just TV that has led me up the proverbial garden path. In an interview with the Evening Standard the head of a London Girls Sixth Form took time out to criticise "lazy boys" (actual boys who are lazy, not the chairs....which are obviously brilliant). My first reaction, of course, was to stand tall and bellow "HOW DARE YOU MADAM! HOW VERY DARE YOU!" whilst dramatically throwing the paper aside and remonstrating those around me for staring and telling me how I was frightening the children.
According to the interview, the teacher from Putney High School was concerned that girls from same sex schools are so high achieving that when they leave they are often disappointed by how "ineffective" boys are. Yet despite being totally bloody brilliant in the classroom, she warned that girls are often subsequently overtaken by men in the workplace because they cannot "blag."
Now just wait a cotton pickin' minute. Women cannot blag? Women? Blag? Cannot? Next you're going to tell me 'women cannot comprehend the offside rule' or 'women cannot watch the entire second series of Game of Thrones in one sitting, on a Sunday thus forgoing Countryfile and Antiques Roadshow, only getting up to have several wees and a run to the shops for more crisps'.
According to the Urban Dictionary there are several definitions of the term 'blag'. However, the one I feel is perhaps the most commonly understood is, "to make up as you go along", perhaps with an added element of "cheekiness" and just a little "dishonesty". Perhaps the teacher from Putney has never worked outside of a school before but let me tell you, we're all making it up as we go along out here! If you speak to any of my female friends they will tell you about the omnishambles that is their place of work. You can plan all you like but if you find yourself confronted by an on-the-spot decision whilst late for a meeting and craving your first coffee of the day, there is often going to be an element of blagging.
But why should blagging be seen as something negative? Blagging is thinking on your feet. Cheekiness is doing it with a bit of charm and an element of dishonesty is always present in business - only the most naive would lay all their cards on the table. So why on earth would some women wish to distance themselves from blagging?
Maybe blagging is destined to remain pigeonholed as a male trait. Like farting in a lift, we all know women do it too, we'll just stay silent and pretend not to notice for the time being.