Ever wonder what goes down behind closed doors at blow job workshops? Wonder no more!
Below, sex educators and other experts from around the country share their best advice from BJ classes. (NSFW material ahead!)
1. Start slow.
“It’s fun to start soft. Let your partner get hard in your mouth, without any motion. Just let them experience the warmth of your breath and wetness of your tongue then gently begin to suck. Anticipation will make your partner even hotter.” ― Rebekah Beneteau, a sex, kink and intimacy coach and co-host of the webinar “The Joy of Oral: Make Your Next Mouthful Matter”
2. Don’t shy away from lube.
“People often think that their own saliva will be enough lubrication to get the job done. It’s actually best to add a bit of lube to get started: either water-based or silicone. After a few minutes, you may build up enough of your own juices to keep the action going. Sucking on a hard, sugar-free candy can also help you build up saliva.” ― Melissa Jones, a sexologist and executive director of the Sexology Institute and Boutique in San Antonio, Texas
3. Get handsy.
“Remember: A good blow job is 50 percent hands. Using your hands, with even pressure and friction in concert with your mouth, does more than what your mouth can do on its own. It can make or break a blow job experience.” ― Elle Chase, a sex educator and author of Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life
4. Ask questions.
“Ask questions before you start and even during if you aren’t sure he’s having a good time. Every man is different. They don’t all like the same thing. Don’t ask broad questions like ‘Is this good?’ Instead, ask yes or no questions that give you concrete information, like, ‘Would you like it faster?’” ― Trevor Jones, a sex, kink and intimacy coach and co-host of the webinar “The Joy of Oral: Make Your Next Mouthful Matter”
5. Work with the curve and angle of your partner’s penis.
“Deep throating isn’t for everyone, but if it is something you want to do, having your mouth and throat match the angle of your partner’s penis can help. If they are curved or angled upward for instance, being on your knees below them would not work as well because their penis would be more likely to hit the roof of your mouth than go smoothly down your throat. In that case, have them lie down on a bed, kneel next to them facing their feet, and lean down until you’re comfortable. From there, open your throat like you would for a yawn ― now your partner’s penis can slide down your throat at a more comfortable and natural angle.” ― Amory Jane, a sex educator and education coordinator at She Bop, a sex toy boutique in Portland, Oregon
6. Give him your undivided attention.
“Give him your attention, not his penis. Let him know you desire his pleasure and satisfaction by giving frequent eye contact, saying his name, asking him how he likes it or if he wants anything special. Eye contact also allows you to read his body language, to see how he responds to different techniques.” ― Melissa Jones
7. Don’t forget “the boys.”
“To give a successful blow job, you have to pay attention to his balls. Go back and forth, popping each one into your mouth and going back every now and again to lick the whole sack area. I encourage starting your blow job here, actually; spending a bit of time with ‘the boys’ helps boost his arousal before you start bobbing ― the part where you’re most likely hurting your jaw.” ― Sasha Rene, founder of the Blow By Blow workshop in San Diego, California
8. Be in the moment.
“You’re putting your partner’s most coveted body part in your mouth and between your teeth ― that takes an enormous amount of trust. Savor the experience. Show your partner how much you recognize this by treating their blow job with enthusiasm, focused attention and high regard.” ― Elle Chase
