Boris Johnson's First Daily Mail Column Has Left People Under-Whelmed, To Say The Least

Billed as "required reading around the world", the former prime minister filed on a weight loss wonder drug and "fridge raids for cheddar and chorizo".
Boris Johnson on his morning run this week.
Boris Johnson on his morning run this week.
Leon Neal via Getty Images

The reviews are in after Boris Johnson filed his first column for the Daily Mail – and many think it stretches the credibility of the claim that his musings would be “required reading across the world”.

Just days after the former prime minister quit parliament amid a report finding Johnson deliberately misled parliament, the Daily Mail announced on Friday that he’ll write a full-page column that will run every Saturday.

Teasing the new signing, the paper splashed on its front page ahead of the confirmation that an “erudite new columnist who’ll be required reading in Westminster and across the world” would be starting the next day. He is thought to be being paid handsomely for the gig – £1 million a year, according to one report.

It soon transpired Johnson had broken parliament’s rules (again) by accepting the work. Nonetheless, soon after, the first column had landed – and their perhaps weren’t the insights into the highest levels of power many were expecting.

BORIS JOHNSON: Wonder drug I hoped would stop my raids for cheddar and chorizo didn't work for me https://t.co/ZqJ7Uta9bG pic.twitter.com/JSecdaKWmb

— Daily Mail U.K. (@DailyMailUK) June 16, 2023

The headline in the online version ran: “The wonder drug I hoped would stop my 11.30pm fridge raids for cheddar and chorizo didn’t work for me. But I still believe it could change the lives of millions.”

In it, Johnson essays the diabetes drug Ozempic – which has become infamous for its apparent ability to get celebrities thin. Not so for the ex-PM, whose weight fluctuated while on it until he returned to ”exercise and willpower”.

He does, however, hope “maybe one day it can help me, and everyone else” as he highlighted the UK’s “appalling” obesity crisis. “I believe we are still in the foothills of what these drugs can do,” he adds.

And that’s about the long and the short it. To put it charitably, Twitter shrugged.

"Required reading around the world" pic.twitter.com/k3Pc8T9zVh

— Adam Bienkov (@AdamBienkov) June 16, 2023

I'm astonished Boris needs a weight-loss drug given all the running he does

— General Boles (@GeneralBoles) June 16, 2023

"Does the light stay on when the fridge door is shut? I've hidden in one, so I can reveal the answer!"#BorisColumnPitches

— Robert Hutton (@RobDotHutton) June 16, 2023

“Boss, the good news is that Boris has managed to file on time”.

“What’s the bad news?”

https://t.co/WQFzOjVTED

— Stig Abell (@StigAbell) June 16, 2023

Like to think if I was offered six figures as a columnist I could come up with a better pitch than “I like cheese” https://t.co/o2VBPQ6Cbw

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) June 16, 2023

What a load of bollocks a £1 million a year column turns out to be. No other former prime minister has been willing to stoop this low for money. https://t.co/bN1Lg4nNeE

— Tim Walker (@ThatTimWalker) June 16, 2023

And many pointed out another columnist had already cornered the market for observations of the everyday ...

The Boris Johnson column for the Mail has landed on its paid Mailplus page. And frankly, Adrian Chiles has nothing to worry about. pic.twitter.com/ZgaqYUhjJn

— Alistair Coleman (@alistaircoleman) June 16, 2023

Strong Adrian Chiles energy to get things started pic.twitter.com/qqlCoF029D

— Dominic Penna (@DominicPenna) June 16, 2023

Adrian Chiles is as superior to Johnson as a columnist as he would be as a prime minister.

— Stephen Graham 🇺🇦 (@StephenCVGraham) June 16, 2023

“I once paid a six figure sum to employ a shit version of Adrian Chiles…” pic.twitter.com/Q3Ke8xq4b0

— JR Hartleys armchair (@JRsArmchair) June 16, 2023
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