Let’s be real here: relationships can be tough.
Between conflicting attachment styles, differing love languages, and divergent life goals, it’s unlikely you and your partner will see eye-to-eye on every issue.
But therapist Jeff Guenther, who goes by Therapy Jeff on TikTok, recently shared that some complaints happen over and over again across multiple clients and commenters.
He revealed: “The most frequent question I get (on TikTok) is: ‘My boyfriend likes photos of women on Instagram and I don’t like it. What should I do?’”
Here’s what he suggests.
Communication is key
Guenther’s first piece of advice is simple: share your feelings with your partner.
“Tell your boyfriend how it makes you feel,” he advises. But that seems to be where his advice for the woman involved ends.
Instead, he encourages the person who’s liking other women’s Instagram posts to consider how their partner might feel in that scenario – and whether or not it’s worth the stress and discomfort.
In other words, once you’ve shared your thoughts, Guenther feels your partner should start asking themselves some serious questions.
Is liking the pictures so necessary that you jeopardise your relationship?
As Guenther says, acting in a way that you know, or can imagine, your partner would dislike, puts the relationship in danger.
He suggests serial double-tappers seriously consider whether “these Instagram babes are more significant than the person you’re in love with” – because, he says, “that’s the message you’re sending”. Oof.
He stresses the importance of valuing the person you’re actually in a relationship with over prioritising pictures of women you aren’t, saying that “the person you’re actually making out with” should probably take precedence.
What if they still continue liking pictures?
Guenther says that if they feel that liking pictures is still more important than their real-life relationship, then “maybe, just maybe, you should re-evaluate your priorities”.
He adds that if, after you share your feelings, your boyfriend shrugs them off or fails to change his behaviour, you should “note that”.
“It’s a serious red flag,” he says.
It might even be worth asking yourself if you want to stay with someone “who willingly disrespects your feelings,” Guenther suggests – “especially over something so trivial.”
In other words, no – you’re not overreacting if your partner’s likes are stressing you out, especially if you’ve communicated your concerns with them before.