Telegraph Columnist Calls For Brexit Hit Squad And Twitter Provides Comedy Gold

Would this lot do a better job than the Brexit department?

When a newspaper columnist suggested Britain was in need of a “Brexit hit squad”, he may not quite have envisaged the same things as most of Twitter.

Writing in the Daily Telegraph, Allister Heath declared: “We need a completely new Brexit hit squad, and fast, to deliver the visionary deal we require.”

He suggested that our exit of the EU was “Britain’s moonshot moment” and praised Boris Johnson’s “brilliant” column - also in the Telegraph - in which he controversially repeated the now-infamous £350 million-for-the-NHS figure.

Brexit Secretary David Davis may not be keen on the suggestions for a Brexit hit squad
Brexit Secretary David Davis may not be keen on the suggestions for a Brexit hit squad
PA Wire/PA Images

He went on to set out plans for a “smallish Brexit Executive Committee (or ExCo, in the jargon beloved of boardrooms)” to replace the current Department for Exiting the European Union (Dexeu), made up of “the best officials from Dexeu, the Foreign Office, the Treasury, the Bank of England and a few outsiders, such as Shanker Singham of the Legatum Institute”, with Theresa May at the helm.

But, unsurprisingly, Twitter had other (arguably less workable) ideas of who would make the ideal “Brexit hit squad”.

This team who have definitely got things under control

pic.twitter.com/fMOtnt732Y

— David Couch (@crutchley) September 20, 2017

What could possibly go wrong?

New #Brexit hit squad ready for action. pic.twitter.com/Preyai8cfl

— Deirdre Heenan (@deirdreheenan) September 20, 2017

This team has a cunning plan

What we need is a cunning plan. pic.twitter.com/nI5PKJTixc

— Totoro (@MeAndTotoro) September 20, 2017

This pair would make sure that £350 million went to me and to you (sorry)

Seems legit

pic.twitter.com/w5RXi5IXTE

— Rusholme Ruffian (@lev_yashin) September 20, 2017

To be fair, it’s already going well, right?

pic.twitter.com/OG8EpS9ohd

— Chris Gannon (@KennyEvil) September 20, 2017

After all, the older generations were the ones who were so keen on Brexit

Maybe not?

For when the wheels are coming off the whole Brexit deal

pic.twitter.com/dP0Ihh1gQb

— Stuart Brooking (@tugger2k) September 20, 2017

Honestly, this negotiating thing sounds like child’s play

pic.twitter.com/mLr0ttfwDi

— Mary Cockerel (@marycockerel) September 20, 2017

These guys know a hit when they see one

A hit squad, you say? pic.twitter.com/znhLYxULzm

— Simon (@HungryHatter) September 20, 2017

Why not?

pic.twitter.com/eU06YTp0Ej

— Julian Shea (@juliansheasport) September 20, 2017

Something tells us these guys may not be allowed on the committee

I have just the chaps …… oh!
Never mind! pic.twitter.com/8FZB9aLrrx

— HelenGateley (@HelenLGateley) September 20, 2017

A champagne Brexit for everyone!

Free trade sweetie! pic.twitter.com/pFjp5GrpkV

— Property Spotter (@PropertySpot) September 20, 2017

If you can survive a zombie apocalypse, you can surely survive Brexit

As long as we don’t panic

pic.twitter.com/Kw78ggzoOD

— Stephen Gallagher (@brooligan) September 20, 2017
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