Everything You Know About St. Patrick's Day Is Wrong

St. Patrick's Day is here! Typically, we associate the holiday with drinking, drinking, and drinking. Oh, and being Irish and green things.

But there's a lot more to St. Patrick's Day than most people know. Truthfully, you've probably been living a lie. When you learn all the facts, this holiday actually kind of... sucks.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but here are 10 brutally honest facts about St. Patrick's Day.

St. Patrick wasn't Irish.

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Historians believe he was born in what is now England, Scotland or Wales.

St. Patrick's color is blue.

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WE'VE BEEN LIVING A LIE. You might want to hold off on the green face paint this year.

St. Patrick's Day as we know it was invented in America.

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Really?! Catholic University's Irish American expert, Timothy Meagher, explains that St. Patrick's Day celebrations began in the 18th century in American cities with large Irish immigrant populations."It becomes a way to honor the saint but also to confirm ethnic identity and to create bonds of solidarity," Meagher explained. Really.

March 17th is the day St. Patrick died.

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So you're celebrating his death, you a**hole.

St. Patrick didn't drive all the snakes from Ireland.

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Probably because there's no evidence that snakes have EVER existed in Ireland. The climate is much too chilly for them.

The shamrock isn't the symbol of Ireland.

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Sure, you can find shamrocks all over the Emerald Isle, but the real symbol is the harp.

St. Patrick's Day used to be a dry holiday.

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Today's booze-bags look to the holiday as a great excuse to start drinking Guinness at 9 AM. Until 1970, however, all pubs in Ireland were closed in observance of the religious feast day.

Corned beef and cabbage isn't a traditional Irish dish.