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When I slip into my work uniform, I think back to the days of my 9-5 jobs: sweating in a restaurant, feet aching in a bookshop, the time I worked in a supermarket and had to literally fight customers off me whilst I reduced food. My new uniform, a bright pink lingerie set, is not what most people would consider workwear – but that’s the life of a cam girl.
I started my camming journey ten months ago when I came across an advert on Instagram – a picture of a group of women with different bodies, skin colours, some stretch marks, all laughing together. I knew nothing about the camming industry, and so had never thought of it as a career move. I was at a real low point in my life, and thought this could be the fresh start I needed. Working from home would be ideal for me, as I struggle with my mental health, and being self-employed could help me finally take control of my finances. And, I thought, perhaps camming could even help me explore and push my until-then vanilla sexuality.
Once I had done my research on the agency, Off The Record, I tentatively broached the subject with my partner of five years. I’ve learned a lot of women in the business choose not to tell their partners, but I’m terrible at keeping secrets and I felt like he had a right to know what I was thinking of doing as a job.
My whole body was shaking and I had butterflies. I was so nervous at how he may react; my boyfriend is very liberal but I was scared he’d consider this cheating. Instead? He said “this could be the making of you. It’s like you were made to do this”. Not the reaction I expected from a builder who would be ruthlessly taunted about it if his colleagues found out. But that’s my partner – always seeing an opportunity that could help me.
“So many people just assume cam girls get naked and are there to get men off, but this isn’t the truth.”
In the camming industry it can be hard to stick out – every single woman you see is genuinely stunning and diverse. I specialise in role plays and cosplays; I can be whoever you want me to be (or at least I try). I have a background in performing arts, and never thought it would help me in the career I find myself in now. From the West End to camming – who would’ve thought it?
So many people just assume cam girls get naked and are there to get men off, but this isn’t the truth. I’m a huge geek, so a lot of my chats are me discussing the latest Marvel comic and arguing my point to regulars who I do think of as friends, which can be strange when you think about it. Because of the hate I have of my body, I personally don’t get naked. I’m more of a tease and a fantasy girlfriend. That’s not to say I don’t get naughty, but if I spilled to you what I do that would be telling...
My boyfriend is the only person who knows about my secret life. He even plays video games next to me while I cam on the sofa, trying not to laugh as I fake orgasm, or passing me cups of tea and chocolates when I’m with a client, trying to make me giggle.
And I can’t put into words what camming has done for our sex life. Let’s just say I am a lot more confident in bed – and a lot more adventurous. We’d never used toys before but after realising how essential toys are for cam work, they quickly made their way into the bedroom. People think when you have to bring toys into your sex life it’s the kiss of death but it’s the complete opposite; it allows you to explore your bodies further and have a different type of orgasm. Even the ‘me time’ I have now is made so much better (why didn’t I know this earlier? Why didn’t they mention this in the sex-ed classes?)
“Camming has made me more accepting of my body, and I finally see the strength and sexiness in my curves.”
There’s been a few times where I’ve slipped into some lingerie for work and my boyfriend can’t keep his eyes off me the whole time I’m trying to work. He’s never been the one to make the first move but recently I’ve found he’s definitely paying more attention to me, and I love it. He’s open to trying new things in bed that I want and has even opened up to me about things he’d like to try, after five years together. I hear about a lot of kinks at work, which I tell him about, and we discuss the ones we want to try, or he tries not to look too scared about the ones he definitely won’t attempt...
Of course, there have been days when he can become annoyed at not so much what I do but how much I make. He works long days, in all weathers, for not much pay, and some days he comes home to find me beaming about making £300 in a few hours. I can see how that must be hard for him and it’s caused the occasional argument; at the beginning he didn’t consider what I do a job, sitting on the sofa all day, in lingerie and PJs, talking to men. During lockdown he really got to see what my days were like, days where I would work 12 hours just to get enough money for rent. Not every day is amazing, but you have to take the highs with the lows.
Can I see myself doing this forever? Honestly, I don’t know. It’s mentally hard work and it can be lonely, sitting all day at my laptop, talking to men about this and that, acting sexy when some days I don’t feel it. Can I see my boyfriend being happy with my career in ten years, when maybe we’re married or have kids? Maybe this isn’t a life-long career, but right now I am loving it. I am my own boss. I make my own money. I am in charge of what I will and won’t do. And nowadays, that counts for a lot.
Because right now, camming has made me more accepting of my body, and I finally see the strength and sexiness in my curves. And I’ll always be grateful for my job helping me open up to trying new things, whether that’s positions or kinks or dress up. Let’s just say dressing up as Wonder Woman is no longer just for work.
Brooke is a camgirl, writing under a pseudonym
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