When it comes to dating apps, the talking stage really is not for the faint of heart.
There’s truly nothing quite as mundane as the small talk you have to make in the hopes of bagging a date and the longer the messaging goes on without a plan to meet up being made, the more we just want to launch our phone at the wall. After a while it all seems like too much of a faff, so we ditch the convo and head off back into the world of swiping... to do it all over again.
And the word for that never ending loop of messaging? ‘Carouselling.’
However, a leading dating expert has now warned that endless messaging is not only fuelling the ‘carouselling’ dating trend but also leading to an anxiety epidemic amongst singles.
According to a recent survey carried out by FindingTheOne.com, the longer singles spend messaging on these platforms, the more anxious they feel about meeting their matches in real life.
In fact, 77% of those surveyed reported feeling more nervous the longer the conversation drags on without a face-to-face meet up.
Sylvia Linzalone, the app’s dating expert, says: “The longer singles stay on the messaging carousel, the more daunting the idea of meeting becomes and it’s fuelling unnecessary anxiety.”
83% of the 1,500 respondents said they would prefer to meet in person within a week of matching but often feel pressured to continue messaging.
Why? The good old fear of seeming too keen. However, these prolonged conversations build up unrealistic expectations making an eventual in person meet up seem like an ordeal.
Emily, 28, one of the users who took part in the study, knows the carouselling dating trend oh too well: “I tend to chat with people for weeks, and by the time we finally planned a date, I’d built up so much anxiety that I almost dreaded it.
“The longer we messaged, the more I worried about whether we’d actually connect in person. I’ve even cancelled a few dates because of it.”
So what are we to do? According to Linzalone, it’s time to be brave and take the plunge.
“Meeting sooner means less pressure and less anxiety. It lets you see if there’s a real connection in the real world, where it actually matters,” she says.
So... fancy a drink next week?