Nine in 10 children often use the word ‘stress’, new research suggests.
The study by author and behaviour coach, Lorraine Thomas, also suggests youngsters aged eight to 11 feel they are better at handling stress than their parents. While 61% of the young respondents said teachers manage stress well and 29% believe children do, and only 10% said parents handle it well.
In the survey of 1,000 children in England, one child said Alexa – a virtual assistant developed by Amazon – managed stress better than a parent because “it says things calmly, doesn’t get annoyed”.
“Children are quite clear about who manages stress well,” says Thomas. “They say teachers come out tops, then children themselves – and parents at the bottom. It is their mothers and fathers who seem most stressed and who can’t handle it.”
Thomas says one of the best lessons we can teach children is how to manage their stress with good, healthy habits rather than unhealthy ones.
Previously speaking to HuffPost UK, Jonathan Wood from Place2Be said it’s important for parents to acknowledge and offer support as soon as they are aware their child might be stressed. “Say something like: ‘I can see that you’re anxious/angry/upset... Would it help to talk about it?’” he advised.
When you begin to speak to your child about their feelings, Anxiety UK’s clinical advisor, Professor Karina Lovell, said parents should avoid phrases including: “don’t be silly”, “there is nothing to be afraid of”, “everything will be alright” or “calm down”.
“Comments such as these are unhelpful as they minimise the young person’s anxiety, ignore the young person’s distress completely and don’t offer them any alternatives or strategies to help the young person,” she said.
Full details of the research will be shared at the University of Buckingham and International Positive Education Network (IPEN) Ultimate Wellbeing in Education Conference on 21 March.